Blind // H.S.

one

"I just wanted to call to say I'm sorry Charlie."

My body shakes in complete shock from hearing those words sound through my cell phone speaker. After three years of back and forth, fighting, and all but hating one another, the boy who shattered my heart into a million pieces with no remorse and went on with life like I was never even in it, has called me out of the blue to... apologize? To try to win my forgiveness?

I cradle my head in my hands as I contemplate my next move. I stay silent for what feels like ten years before he says "Charlie please say something, anything I'm begging you."

I inhale deeply and say "After all these years, why now?" My voice cracks as I question his intent in calling. There has to be an ulterior motive behind this declaration, some sort of gain. This isn't like him. He's selfish. He's prideful. He only allows himself to be wrong when there is something to benefit from on his part.

"Because I miss you. I'm tired of the silence. I'm tired of the uncertainty. I'm tired of the awkwardness whenever I see you out. I'm tired of being the bad guy. I'm just tired of all of it" he says, the pain in his voice is evident in this moment and a wave of  hurt washes over me. Maybe he really is sorry. Maybe i've got it wrong.

"Miles..." I speak before he cuts me off again. "And someone wise once told me to say what you mean, and to mean what you say because you never know how much time you have left..."

The screech of my alarm clock jars me from my sleep and I reach over and slam the button to silence it.

I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling, trying to process the dream I had just woken from. I  feel unsettled, sad, and confused. Why does this keep happening? The same dream, the same memory, the same pain. Every single time I close my eyes the memory replays itself. I can't escape the nightmare of losing the person I loved, despite the pain he caused me.

I snap into reality as soon as I remember what today is. The day I have waited for since... I don't even know how long. It's my first day as an intern at Columbia Records. My dream internship that I never in a million years would have guessed I would score.

It was an honor to be selected as an intern at the label. They only took, at maximum, 3 interns every year and the interview process was extremely rigorous, I swear they asked me questions about myself I don't even think I knew the answers to. They straight up went all CIA on me. They assessed my knowledge of the industry, my goals for the future, and even had me answer some scenario based questions with the most absurd situations. There were over 10,000 applicants and somehow I was lucky enough to score a spot in the program. So I packed up from my small hometown in North Carolina, where I had moved back to after I finished up college a few weeks prior while I waited to hear if I got the internship, and headed to New York City.

Living in New York had also been a dream of mine since I had visited when I was ten. My heart has longed for the city ever since. I was never really the traditional small town girl. I always felt different, like I didn't belong. Like I was destined for something bigger. I did leave home for college, but didn't go too far. I went to a small music school in North Carolina, about an hour away from home to study music production and I also minored in marketing. I wanted to study at a school known for music like Berkley or NYU, but my family and I couldn't afford out of state tuition. I loved having freedom and studying my passion, but it still wasn't enough to shake the feeling of wanting more. So when I learned about the internship program with Columbia Records, I jumped at the opportunity and gave it my all and luckily it worked out in my favor.

I jumped out of bed and headed to my bathroom. I turned on the sink, cupped my hands under the running water, and splashed the water on my face to wake me up a little. I reached for a towel to pat my face dry and as I pulled the towel away from my face I stared at myself in the mirror. "You really did it." I say out loud to myself with a smile. At times, it had felt like I would never make it here, out of that town. Historically no one ever makes it out of my hometown, well at least not for long. People leave for college but always seem to come right back. It's a cycle that lots of people fall right into because everyone in their family before them did too. But not me, I was determined to make it out. That town was far too small and held far too many memories for me to ever truly be happy there. I'm a dreamer and always have been and I think that's what helped me stay hopeful that one day I'd get my shot. I'm sure people think I'm crazy back home, but I don't care. No matter the outcome of this journey, I know I am right where I am meant to be.

After I brush my teeth and put on some light makeup I head over to my closet. I wanted to look my best for the first day on the job so I picked out my favorite blazer, a loose white shirt, black high-waisted pants, and my favorite nude and black heels. I put on a small pair of gold hoops and a simple gold necklace and head back into my bathroom to fix my hair. I decide to go for a sleek low bun, professional and trendy. I do one final look at myself in the mirror and am pleased with how I've pulled myself together.

I head over to my kitchen and see that the clock on the microwave says 7:35. "Shit" I say as I grab my bag and run for my apartment door. I needed to leave by 7:20 to give myself plenty of time to catch the subway and get my bearings. I admittedly am not the best with directions, I swear I got lost on my college campus even after I had studied there for four years. It was literally only 6 buildings but I never could quite remember which was which, they all looked the same to me. So I always knew that being in the city and finding my way around it was going to be... interesting to say the least. My heels click as I run down the six flights of metal stairs to the bottom floor of my building.

"Good morning, Greg!" I scream as I head towards the sliding glass doors in the lobby. "Aren't they all for me these days, Charlie?" he says. I glance back as I'm walking out of the doors with a smile on my face. Greg is the doorman in my building who I have come to grow a friendship with over the past three weeks that I've been in the city. He's an older man, late sixties, who has been the doorman here for 15 years. He has been so kind to me while I have been here, always greeting me with a smile. I know what you're thinking 'Charlie, that's his job' I know, I know. But Greg is genuine, and it's nice to have some kind of friendship in this big, brand new city I now call home.

I walk about half a block to catch the subway closest to my house, and if my calculations are correct I'll make it to 23rd street and be able to walk right up to Madison avenue and to the Columbia Records office with three minutes to spare. I reach into my bag and pull out my phone and headphones. I open up Spotify to my newest playlist and click shuffle. "Put Your Records On" blares into my headphones and I click my phone shut.

I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath, my nerves starting to surface. I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to miss my shot. I don't want to fail. I hate failure. I have come too far to let anything stand in my way of making a name and a future for myself in this industry.

I open my eyes as I feel the subway come to a screeching halt and realize that this is my stop. I stand up and walk off the tube and up the concrete stairs into the hustle and bustle of the city. I make my way up the street and turn onto Madison and make my way to the Columbia building.

As I approach the building, I stop. I take in the skyscraper that is Columbia Records headquarters. I genuinely am in disbelief that I am standing here, about to walk into one of the biggest and world renown record labels as an intern. An actual employee of the company. I take a deep breath and grab for the glass door and make my way to the elevator. The briefing email said to arrive to the 30th floor of the building at approximately 8:30 am. As I board the elevator I glance down at my watch and it reads 8:27 am. I fix my jacket and smooth the top of my hair as the doors shut in front of my face. I feel the elevator rise and then quickly come to a halt and ding, signaling my stop. As the doors open wide I think to myself "Charlie Matthews, you better not screw this up."

( Authors Note: )

YAY FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER!

You met my main girl, Charlie. I am so excited for you guys to get to know her character. She's a pretty cool gal if I do say so myself ;)

Let me know what ya think!  I am always open to constructive criticism, I want to improve and be the best writer I can!