twelve

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The sound of my phone buzzing wakes me from my slumber. I glance at the clock before picking up the call, seeing that it reads 3:42 am.


"Hello?" I squeak out, voice still hoarse from the deep sleep I had just woken from.


"Charlie..." the voice, which I then recognize to be my mothers, says tearfully.


"Mom," I say as I sit straight up in my bed. "What's wrong? Why are you calling me?"


The line goes silent for a moment. The soft whimpers I hear on the other end of the line cause my eyes to start to water and I don't even know what is wrong yet.


"Mom please tell me what's going on, you're scaring me."


"Um- sweetheart, it's Miles. There's been an accident," my stomach drops.


"You may want to pack your things and get home as soon as you can. Um- there's not much time left..." she trails off. My body is shaking and my phone drops out of my hands as I go to grab my keys and race out of my apartment to get to him as fast as I can.


My eyes shoot open and I gasp for air.


Just a dream. Just another horrific reminder of the past and the pain that lies there.


I lie there for a moment, catching my breath and fighting back the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes at any moment. I decide to rise from my bed and head to the bathroom. I splash my face with cold water and glare at myself at the mirror.


Then the events of last night race into my mind. Gabe.


We held hands. We flirted. I liked it.


What was I thinking?


I went out with Gabe last night, to my defense I had no idea that casual drinks out with a work friend would turn into us spending the night pouring our souls out to one another, and have a date with Harry, admittedly the man of my dreams, tonight.

Who am I? This isn't like me. Up until I met Harry, the last date I had been on was... like three years ago? Now I'm suddenly, dare I say it, maybe interested in two different guys.


'Stop' I say to myself, and I move on to my closet to get ready for work.


I went for a super casual white blouse, black pants, and nude heels look today. I put on a light layer of makeup and curl my hair, knowing I won't have enough time to do so tonight before Harry picks me up. I grab my things and quickly head out the door of my apartment. I clink down the stairs and make my way to the lobby to see Greg.


He's always smiling, always in a great mood, and always gives me great advice so I decide to confide in him about my mixed emotions.


I make my way up to his small desk and prop my chin on my hands as I look at him with puppy dog eyes.

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