It's not the same way it was years ago. I found myself on my knees, begging you to love me. I hoped that once you see my tears, you would reconsider. I hoped that once you see my emotions, you would not hurt me. I begged, and I hardly begged for love. Yet I begged for your love.
I gave you many chances. I forgave you for your "mistakes". I gave you my heart and asked you to keep it safe, although I was warned that you would break it. I thought that they didn't see what I see in you, but it was all in my head. I made you up!
The sweet, kind, caring boy I thought you were - was fiction. A part of a childhood fantasy I conjured in order to be happy. I was oblivious, and it was obvious. You took advantage of that.
You were my first and I thought you were my last. I thought of marriage and kids with YOU. I thought you were my soulmate. I thought we were meant to be.
Was it because of the distance? Was it because I wasn't there to love you, that you resorted to cheating? I felt useless when you left me the first time. I mourned our love while you fed me some bullshit excuse as to why you left me. You lied to me. You didn't want to feel guilty, but I lost my self-esteem. I lost myself because of you.
But when you took me back, I felt so happy again. I thought you truly loved me and our love was strong and powerful. Everyone knew, while I stayed in the dark.
YOU CHEATED AGAIN!
I didn't know.
I was the fool, right?
Lol Haha, she will never find out, right?
Little did you know that I was finding the courage to leave. I was finally gonna move on. In the process, I cheated too.
I realized in that moment that I deserve better. I deserve to live a stress-free life. I didn't feel the "love" we had anymore. It vanished.
It was over.
