"Can we be friends?"
I would not be friends with someone who hurt me, who broke my heart. Weren't you the one who said that you will treat me better than my ex did? Who let me open my heart and dish out every feeling I had? And for what? To hurt me even more?
We had the most messy breakup in my life. The relationship and everything about you is triggering. You kicked me when I was down and I will NEVER forgive you for that.
I was angry and filled with hatred. All I wanted was a relationship where I would ACTUALLY be happy. Although we didn't last long, we lasted long enough for me to get attached, for me to feel. I was starting to fall in love with you.
I was willing to overlook my flaws, to diminish my insecurities, to move closer to you because I wanted us to flourish. Did you ever love me like you claimed you did? Did you see the pain you put me through? Or did you just want to waste my damn time?
You faced the half of my wrath, but I let you go. I mean, what's the point? You probably already moved on at that point. It took me months to cry it out, to hurt, to be triggered, to be haunted by memories. The healing process is just cruel.
Just friends. I knew that meant you wanted to keep tabs on me. So see "how am I doing?", but why? Why would I even consider it as an option?
I realize now that we were never gonna make it, so thank you for ending it as quick as it started. Thank you for ripping me off my naivety and my obliviousness. Thank you for making me cautious of people. I clearly haven't learned from my first lover.
How am I doing now? Well, I am okay. I have been through a lot and it made me stronger. It made me a different person. I am not who I was back then and I have no regrets. I wouldn't have been as cold-hearted and cruel if it wasn't for you.
Thank you.
