Bloodstained Bathtubs and an Absence of Death (Frerard)

18 - Fake It 'Til You Make It

Frank tried to explain, but all that came out of his mouth were spewed sounds and cries. Regardless, I was too focused on Mikey to process what he was trying to say anyway.

Rushing to his side, I reached out with a shaky hand onto his back. Immediately, blood stained my fingers. I couldn't believe it. Seeing my little brother like this... I... couldn't take it.

I screamed in anguish, overwhelmed with my sudden emotions. How could this have happened? I had pushed my brother away all these years and had had such a burning hatred towards him. Up until recently I told myself that I'd kill him myself... I never truly wanted that. I knew that now. Mikey was all I had left of my family and the one person that cared about me above all, maybe even more than Frank, yet here he was lying lifeless on the ground below me.

I wasn't expecting this to hurt so bad... Would I have regretted it if I had killed him myself? Maybe I never would have been able to kill him anyway, even if I had attempted to one day. 

Mikey... He didn't deserve to go yet. It wasn't his time.

I felt unexpected tears stream down my face as I bent over to embrace my brother. From across the room though, I heard a trembling voice. Frank's voice.

"I'm so sorry Gerard, I-" he tried. "I just wanted to know the feeling... watching you made me-"

I didn't let him finished his sentence. I didn't care that I loved Frank in that moment. Not one bit. I tackled him to the ground, punching his face as hard as I could. He sobbed and cried out for me to stop, but I couldn't control myself. It seemed as if all my pent up emotions wanted to come out. I just kept going at him, wreaking havoc on his precious face.

Soon blood was pouring out from his nose and lip, and he tried to desperately cover his face to defend himself.

"He's still alive!!" Frank yelled in between one of my punches. I hesitated, retracting my fist and staring him in the eyes as he peered out anxiously from behind the safety of his fingers.

Grabbing him by the shirt color and lifting him towards my face, I spat, "What did you say?!"

"He's still alive," he cried. "I saw him move!"

Directing my attention to Mikey again, I crawled back towards him. Flipping him over, I put a hand over his heart and my ear over his mouth. Sure enough, he was still breathing with a weak, yet beating heart.

Turning back to Frank I screamed, "Go to my car and get my med kit now!"

Frank struggled to stand up, accidentally slamming into the wooden dresser on the way out, but ran out of the room quickly.

Mikey was still alive...

He must've just passed out from blood loss or the trauma... Looking at his wounds, I knew I had to try to patch them up quickly.

Frank thankfully came back with my supplies rather than running off. Whether it was because he felt guilty or was just scared of me after what I had done to him, he stayed directly by mine and Mikey's side, trying to assist the best he could. I dealt with Mikey's wounds, which luckily weren't as bad as they looked. There were only three and they weren't deep enough to have caused too much damage. Frank must have been hesitant about making them...

"Is he going to be okay?" Frank piped up after a while. I glanced up at him from where I was sitting next to Mikey on his bed. Frank looked horrible. His face was bright red in the spots I had punched him and blood was covering his face and shirt.

I nodded my head, "He's in much better shape than you were in when I tried to kill you the day I met you".

There was silence following my comment until Frank finally spoke up again, "Gerard I'm so so sorry. I don't know what happened, really. I just, snapped for a second and lost control and I-"