Bloodstained Bathtubs and an Absence of Death (Frerard)

12 - We're Both Fucked Up

It had been a few hours since I had knocked Frank out in the car. Patiently, I waited in a blood-stained metal chair across the room from him, where he was tightly strapped down to a wooden table, still unconscious. This was my torture chamber and temporary body storage place of sorts. A long time ago, I had stumbled across an old cellar in the woods when I was trying to hide a corpse. Turns out it was the perfect spot to keep a dead person out of sight, lock up a living one temporarily, or tend to my other murderer needs.

I adored the place. Besides the fact that it smelled horrific and no air freshener seemed to be able to mask the smell of rotting flesh that lingered in the air, it was a peaceful place to relax. I often went there just to get away from home. It had been a while though considering I had had my hands full with Frank.

Originally, if I had managed to kill him that one night in the bathtub, I was most likely going to bring him here to dismember and dispose of him. Little did I know I'd actually be waiting patiently for him to wake up so I could explain my feelings instead. That's all I wanted at this point. Just to talk it out.

I had done a lot of thinking that night. I realized it was ridiculous to think Frank reacted normally after telling him what I was. I had a strong feeling he wasn't ever going to think of me the same way again, but it didn't matter. Although, I'd never understand why he stuck with me this long. Even after I had tried to kill him the first night. It was just the way it was going to be. No answers and a life behind bars was what my future most likely held.

I sighed out loud. This was taking far too long. I couldn't stand another minute inside of my own head. I needed to tell him how I felt that instant. So after approaching him, I began to shake him aggressively, repeating his name over and over.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking a few times to wake up. But one glance at my face and he started screaming again. Great. I thought he would've calmed down by now.

Without even thinking, I slapped him across the face. That definitely shut him up, but I couldn't help but feel that awful sensation of guilt that only seemed to come up when I hurt him, whether it was physically or emotionally.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I looked into his wide, glossy eyes. Very gently, I leaned down and kissed him on the red spot that was forming on his cheek. He just looked up at me with fear. Thankfully, he was tied up, so he couldn't try anything, but I knew he felt hopeless and scared. It wasn't right for me to do that to him. But I needed to get a few words in before I considered undoing the restraints.

"Frank, I know you're scared, but I promise I'm not going to hurt you. You're the one person in this world I've felt something other than hatred towards. I hope you can understand. I know I'm a fucking murderer, but I'm still human. An extremely fucked up human that probably doesn't even deserve to be on this earth anymore. But I care about you... and whether you're just going to run off and call the cops or stay with me, I'm not sure, but just know that I love you".

Without even waiting for his reaction, I untied his restraints and turned my back to him. I doubted there was anything else I could say to him that would fix what I did or who I was. Maybe he'd stab me and kill me if I was lucky, so I wouldn't have to suffer in prison. Because there was no way I was going to murder him to try and stop him. I refused to ever harm him again.

I heard him sit up behind me, and I awaited for him to decide my fate. Yet, I didn't hear him move again after that. He wasn't trying to kill me. He wasn't trying to escape.

"We're both fucked up," he chuckled. I looked over my shoulder and found him sitting on the table still. Staring down at the floor, his smile faded, "You know why I was so drunk that night? The one you tried to kill me? I didn't care what happened to me then. I just drank myself away at a bar and then wandered home. A part of me was hoping I'd stumble into the street and get hit by a car... My life was a mess. The only people I had left couldn't be bothered to help me. They didn't get it I guess..."

"Is that why you were so upbeat when I... you know-"

"When you stabbed me?" Frank interjected. "Yeah, I was drunk out of my mind and certainly not thinking straight. I had already been going with the flow at that point too, and I figured, if the universe wanted me dead that night, I might as well just let it happen. I had nothing else going for me".

"Frank, I'm so sorry-" I started.

"Don't be," He paused for a moment and grinned before continuing. "You know Gerard, you were kind of like the light at the end of the tunnel for me".

I was confused, "What do you mean? How?"

"Well, I don't know how I survived that night, but the fact that you brought me home and made sure that I really wasn't going to die... I felt like you were a sign of hope for me. You may have been the one who tried to end me, but in a way you saved me. More than just patching me up. I fell in love with you. I didn't care about what you tried to do to me before. I just tried to ignore the signs that you were dangerous. I guess love does that sometimes. It blinds you. Between that and me being at rock bottom, I didn't care what kind of person you were".

Getting up, Frank walked towards me. I started to panic. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe there was an exception to his whole confession. He had to have been coming towards me to kill me. To get his revenge. Goodbye world.

But to my surprise, I wasn't greeted by a hidden knife, or his hands around my throat, but rather a kiss on the lips. Frank wrapped his arms around me and looked into my eyes lovingly when we separated.

"I love you too, Gerard," he giggled.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Even I was sensible enough to know that this wasn't normal. Not that I was complaining or anything...

"But I seriously didn't know you had killed other people." Frank suddenly said. "But I guess I should've assumed by all the shit you having lying around. I kind of just thought you were really kinky with all the guns, knives, rope, gags-"

"Maybe I am," I stopped him, half jokingly. He smirked back at me before pulling me in for a lustful kiss.