Invisible (Namjoonff)

Chapter 5 Hands

When Ki woke up Thursday morning she was clutching her own hand. She looked at her hands and instantly stuffed her face into her pillow. She was equally ashamed and equally disappointed that she would never be able to share this story in public. When you are asked to share an embarrassing moment. How could she say, "I asked a strange man to get on my blanket in the park and then I feel asleep and grabbed him while I was sleeping." It was hilarious, and yet definitely going with her to her grave. She looked at her hands and pulled them away from each other. She felt the cold air fill the space that had just been warm and she instantly missed him. She had held hands with him and didn't even remember it. It seemed cruel.

She rolled out of bed and made her way to the kitchen. The house was empty. Breakfast and a note was on the table.

"Took an extra shift. Let's do something nice with the money! You never told me his name, so I assume you failed your mission. No mochi for you. Enjoy the leftover rice. Love Omma."

She knew his name. She knew it was silly, but she hadn't wanted to tell her mother his name. Almost as if saying it out loud would diminish the secret. She told her mother everything, but she wanted his name for herself, even if just for a few more days.

Namjoon woke up aching all over. He had fallen asleep at the studio. Somehow he had stumbled to the couch, but it was still unbelievably uncomfortable. He made a note to discuss getting a couch with a bed for the studio. For the number of times he'd woken up there, it seemed a worthy expense. He swung his legs over the side of the couch and heard an, "Oof!"

He lifted his feet and looked down to see a bundled Yoongi on the floor wrapped in a blanket.

"You didn't go home either? You should have taken the couch. You're my hyung."

"I was happy seeing you happy. I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time."

"I was smiling in my sleep?"

"You looked care free. Did you feel care free? I worry about what you carry on your shoulders."

"This is a way too philosophical for a conversation before breakfast." He rubbed his face and maneuvered around his friend.

"So what were you dreaming about that made you so happy?"

Namjoon stopped and stared out the window.

"I don't remember," he lied, "but I think it had something to do with reading at the park."

Yoongi shook his head. "I thought you were dreaming the lyrics to our next song. Or at least getting a little love."

Namjoon laughed. "Maybe our next song is simply about enjoying a good book."

Yoongi watched his friend. The lightness he had seen on his friend's face was gone. Something was troubling him, but he knew well enough to know he wouldn't confess it. He puzzled over his friend as he watched him standing in the middle of the room looking down at his hand, as if he'd never seen it before.

"Maybe that hand was the love you got last night?"

Namjoon gave him a look, but he didn't mean anything by it. Yoongi wasn't just his friend. They had been together through so many things over the years. The darkest moments and the best ones. No friendship, no family bond, could really describe their relationship. Not even soulmates. Maybe one soul, that lived among 7 bodies. But that wasn't good enough. He loved him not as a mate to his soul, but as his own soul.

And yet, he couldn't tell him about Ki. Seeing her was wrong. It was against the code. It was stupid and dangerous. Everyone had secrets, but a secret that put them all at risk was unforgivable. And if he said her name out loud, he risked never being able to see her again. He hung his head and walked over to his shoes.

"Let's run home. I want to shower before the interview."

Yoongi followed him to the door.

"I hope you remember the dream, Namjoon, you deserve that happiness."