almost lover | jeyna

breakeven

Breakeven (n.) when everything's fine & equal and there is no loss

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I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Prayed to a God that I don't believe in
Well I've got time and he's got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even even

Reyna was stuck in her office after finding out that the recent paperwork she just finished was added with more paperwork she could hardly fathom. She doesn't understand how the problems of Camp Jupiter just keep on piling up and shouldering them all at once wasn't helping. Yeah, Praetor Zhang was there to help her but she never gave him the tough ones. Maybe its because his new but maybe there's something more. Something or perhaps someone named Jason Grace.

Jason Grace, the Son of Jupiter, the all-American boy, the inspiration and the role model of the whole camp. He was perfect in every way but he was also the guy that left. The guy who traded his old life for a new one, the old camp for a much more enjoyable camp. Traded his best friend for a guy who enjoys making people laugh. Especially the girl he respects (probably the girl he likes too) for a prettier, laid-back Daughter of Venus.

She missed him and she can't stop thinking about the boy with the blue eyes. No one could replace him, not even the mighty Percy Jackson. Him and only him can she entrust upon the needs of their beloved home.

Ω

His best days were some of my worst
Finally found someone that will put him first
While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

Reyna knows that his in Camp Half-Blood, having the time of his life. And she's here.... Too busy to have fun. Too busy for anything else. The best days of his life were some of her worst. Not only was she left with a big burden but she was left with no one. No one to take care of her (though she can really take care of herself, but the feeling is not there) and no one to support her like how she wanted someone to.

Maybe because he finally found someone to reciprocate his feelings. Someone that will put him first rather than the Camp's well-being. Someone that would ask him how his day is going and comfort him because that person has the time to do just that. The time that Reyna will never have.

She was readying for bed after finishing those frustrating paperwork. After changing into her pajamas but making sure that her dagger is somewhere near her bedside, she was slipping into her sheets. But she wasn't ready at all. Maybe she wasn't sleepy yet, though after a tiresome day she was sure that her mind and body would be tired. Or maybe it's just his fault. Memories and regrets kept filling her mind, blocking her focus to sleep.

The sad thing was when she was wide awake, thinking of only him.... He was sound asleep, dreaming of the Cherokee girl.

Ω

They say bad things happen for a reason
Wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Well he's moved on while I'm still grieving
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

She doesn't believe in luck. Or karma. Or any other superstitious stuff. But bad things happen for a reason. And she doesn't understand how things came to be. How she was alone.

She sometimes go to the daughter of Athena. Asking discreet questions yet Annabeth still notices her real intentions. And she feels sympathy for the daughter of Bellona. Because they were in the same situation, but both ended differently. For hers was the happy ending, and for the other one was the tragedy. They were both daughters of war, yet Love wasn't favorable to the other one, and it breaks Annabeth's heart.

Annabeth knows that Jason was happy with Piper. She could see how they would act around each other. Love could be seen from their eyes and it makes Annabeth feel like they're doing something wrong. That he's doing something wrong even though he's not. She believes that Reyna, no matter how strong she looks on the outside, is dying and grieving in the inside. And Jason has moved on, without even feeling guilt.

And it makes Annabeth want to punch him in the face. For choosing the wrong person, and leaving the other one to pick up the broken pieces.

Ω

Well you got her heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took the suitcase and I took the blame.
Now I'm trying make sense of what little remains
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name.

Jason took her heart when he was away. And he had Piper's heart too in the palm of his hands. He didn't feel the pain Reyna was feeling almost everyday of her life now.

He went away.

Reyna blamed herself.

She is now trying to make sense of what little remains. Trying to piece it all back together. Trying to solve a puzzle without an actual accurate answer.

Cause he left with no trace. No trace that he ever loved her like she wanted to be loved. No closure that she surely deserves.

Nothing.

And she was slowly losing herself.

Ω

So what am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
So what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces

What was she supposed to do now? When he was everything and now he's gone.

What was she supposed to say? When she's all choked up while he's okay.

Slowly falling to pieces. And she's not trying to fix herself back up anymore.

"The day she finally decides to give love a try was the day he decided to stop chasing her anymore."

♛♛♛

Published: March 9, 2015/ Monday/ 9:20 PM