The Dreams of Princes

Part XV

When Cas did finally wake up, he felt no better. Refusing to stir from his bed, he shifted between sleeping and waking moments, not sure what was a dream and what was real. Frankly, he didn't have the energy to bother trying to figure it out.

   He wasn't sure how long this went on, but it was long enough that Gabe got worried. Coming into Cas's room, he sat down on the bed, brushing Cas's hair from his face.

   "Cas?" He said, and Cas opened his eyes. "It's been almost two days. You need to eat, use the bathroom, move around. Come on, please."

   Hearing the note of worry in Gabe's voice, Cas dragged himself upright. Gabe let out a shaky breath, bags under his eyes. Had Cas really worried him that much?

   "There you go. Come on, let's get you moving," he said, offering to help Cas up. Cas took his arm, letting Gabriel lead him over to the bathroom door.

   "Get a shower and use the bathroom, and then we're going out and getting you some good food. Sam said he knows a place and that you've been there before," Gabe said. Cas nodded, stepping into the bathroom as Gabe closed to door behind him gently.

   Looking into the mirror, Cas barely recognized himself. His eyes were sunken slightly, there were bags under them, and worst of all, it looked as if all of the life had left them. This was tearing him apart, and he knew it wasn't over some stupid crush. This was real love, and he wouldn't be getting it.

   Shoving the thoughts of Dean away, he got into the shower, sighing as the hot water hit his back. It felt nice to feel something other than his blankets and mattress after so long of being in bed. Washing off quickly, he got out, seeing that Gabe had already left an outfit in the bathroom. Gabe was normally ridiculous and off the rails, so he must be incredibly thrown by Cas's behavior if he was acting like this. Cas felt a pant of guilt in his chest at how he must have made his brother feel. Getting dressed in the warm sweater and jeans Gabe had picked, he opened the door, a weak smile on his face as he saw his brother.

   "I'm sorry," Cas whispered, and Gabe shook his head, crushing his brother in a hug. Cas held onto him just as tightly, feeling the familiar prick of incoming tears in the back of his eyes.

   "No," Gabe said sternly. "You already had to destroy yourself for others. Don't do it for me, too."

   Releasing Cas, Gabe began walking out of the room, and Cas followed. Sam met them in the hall, giving Cas a hug and checking that he was alright. Once Sam was convinced, he put a gentle arm over Cas's shoulders, and they started walking out toward the front to get a car.

   As soon as the got down the stairs, Cas saw Dean. Dean looked up, immediately glancing away when he saw who was there. Dean's eyes were also red rimmed, and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. He probably hadn't, Cas realized. Dean was hurting, too. Sam let go of Cas for a moment, going over to whisper something to Dean. Gabe kept Cas walking, and they waited outside for Sam, who came out only a minute later.

   Getting into the waiting car, Cas leaned his head against the window, staring as the familiar road out of the castle passed them by. He could hear Sam and Gabe talking to each other, but it was just noise to him. None of what they were saying got through to him, and he was sure they knew it wouldn't.

   Soon enough, the car stopped, and Cas was being helped out by Sam. They went to the same restaurant that Sam had brought Cas to on his second day there, sitting down inside at a corner booth. Cas sat as inside as he could get, feeling as though he could disappear into the corner.

   The waitress came and went, and Cas assumed that Sam had ordered for him, because after what felt like an eternity, there was food and a drink in front of him. Sitting up slightly, he picked up his utensils and slowly began eating.