Sanders Sides One-Shots!!

6. Partners in Pranks (Moceit)

"It's just a prank," Janus says as he makes a Valentine's day card for Patton.

"I'm trying to outdo him," he says as he plans a fancy dinner for Patton.

"I just want to beat him to it," he says as he prepares to propose to Patton.

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Pairing(s): Moceit (Patton | Morality + Janus | Deceit)

Content Warning(s): pranks (fairly harmless ones), food mention, sex mention (a teeny one in passing)

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Janus has a...prank war of sorts going on with Patton.

Like with many of the sides' exploits, it starts simply and quite by accident, if Janus is to be honest with himself—but now, why would he do that?

Janus doesn't fully intend to put jello in the showerhead before Patton showers—and for that matter, the culprit is actually Remus, and the intended victim Roman. But Patton is the one who comes stomping out of the bathroom and into the living room, green from head to toe and half-naked, and Janus is the one looking up from his book and trying not to laugh. And the lie that it was him slips off his tongue so naturally, just as so many others do.

And then Patton is staring at him, eyes alight with determination, declaring that oh, the competition is on, and, well. Why ever not? It's just a spot of friendly competition, and of course Janus will win. It gives him another chance to show off his innate superiority.

Obviously the glee that Janus takes in seeing Patton's eyes glint like that is pure rivalry and competitiveness. Obviously.

Patton is the one to incite trouble next, replacing all of Janus' skin moisturizer with mayonnaise. Janus scrubs the sticky sauce out of his scales in the bathtub, brow furrowed as he tries to figure out what to do to get Patton back.

The opportunity presents itself when Patton gets a new pair of glasses. He wakes up one morning to find them in the fridge, encased in the same green jello that started the whole mess in the first place. Not even a day after he got the new pair, he's going back to Roman, asking the creative side to conjure him yet another pair.

Next up at bat is Patton, who sneaks into Janus' room one night and places googly eyes on everything in his bedroom—furniture, pictures, paintings, stuffed animals, everything. Janus wakes up to find everything staring at him—including Patton, who hangs upside-down and red-faced from the canopy bed.

He totally doesn't shriek. He doesn't. No matter what Patton tries to tell anyone.

In retaliation for the googly eyes, Janus enlists Roman's help (bribing him with pics of Virgil snuggling Mrs. Fluffybottom in his sleep), and the two conjure and hide dozens of tiny speakers all over Patton's bedroom. He programs them to blast Never Gonna Give You Up three times a day at random and takes savage glee in the ultimate rickroll.

(Patton still hasn't found all of the speakers to this day.)

Patton, ever the lover of puns, is the next to request Roman's help. Patton announces that he's Janus' biggest fan, and Roman enchants dozens of fans with Patton's face taped to them. They follow Janus around for a day and a half before he gets fed up and takes a hammer to them (after carefully removing and saving the pictures of Patton's face first, of course).

In response, Janus installs a fake roll of toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom (leaving an actual roll of toilet paper nearby, of course, because for all that he loves causing chaos, he isn't that evil).