Backtoliving

Chapter 21 : I choose you

POV Cammie

Two days have passed and I didn't hear from Kara. I let her hundreds of messages but she didn't answer. Till now.

Kara<3 : Hey Cam, can we talk?

Me: Hey, yes of course!

Kara<3 : Dinner at our place tonight?

Me: Perfect, see you there.

It's 7 pm, time to leave my flat and go to the restaurant. Kara is waiting outside. It is a small vegan restaurant. The place of our first date...

- Hey Cam, how are you?

- I've had better days, you?

- Same I guess...

We stay here, looking at each other in an awkward silence. Then she moves toward me and kisses me.

- I love you Camden Scott.

I break the kiss and answer that I love her too. We enter in the restaurant and order. I engage the conversation:

- So... what do you want to talk about?

- I want you to be honest, I am ready to ear you. I need to understand...

- I don't know what to say...

- Do you love me?

- Yes Kara, I do love you...

- Did I do anything wrong? What happened with Shannon? Do you want to end this relationship?

- You didn't do anything wrong, you are perfect, since the day I met you. About Shannon, I really can't explain it. I mean, when we broke up, we were still in love but just it wasn't enough for us to be happy, we needed to grow. She is my first love and I guess I never stopped loving her, I don't think I ever will. But I met you, I fall for you, what we have is true.

- So what? Was the Shannon thing a mistake?

- I wish I could tell you that, the truth is... I wanted it to happen. I never meant to hurt you. But all those years we didn't spoke and I thought I forgot her but... In Spain I don't know, we just clicked. I mean, it was easy to talk with her and be with her... I thought we finally moved on and were able to be friend. I wanted us to be friend... Be deep down I felt more. And I am ashamed and angry and I never wanted to cheat on you, but I felt more. I am still in love with Shannon. I can't help it. I have feeling for both of you and it's killing me. And when you left I just... I am a beach, I don't deserve you...

Kara is crying right now and I am using all the strength I have not to do the same. I take her hand in mine and she doesn't push me away.

- Kara, I wish I could erase everything and never hurt you the way I did...

- What happened in Spain?

- We spend time together... we spoke a lot. And the last night, we were in a bar and those guys went to talk to me but she came to rescue me and we kissed. We leave the bar together and kiss again but then we stopped because I am with you, and she is with Cary.

- Is that all?

- I...

- Cammie, you hurt me like no one did in my entire life. You broke my heart and I am struggling to just look at you right now. But I love you, and I can understand, I still think that we belong together. I love you and if you want us to continue our way together I can forgive you. Not today, not tomorrow but I will.

- I don't know what I want Kara, I don't deserve your love. You deserve to be fully loved and treated like a queen.

- Do you want to break up with me?