ILLICIT #1 : New Moon

Chapter 40 - Goodbye

Dean Alessandro

I walked back to the office after Phoenix gave me his ILLICIT card and made the decision to leave instead of staying. I sat down and looked out the window. I could see Phoenix going towards his car as he called someone.

It would be a pure lie if I say that I'm not hurt with his decision.

"Dean." I heard Chance walking into my office and I didn't even bother to turn to him.

"He.. left huh?" Chance asked as I saw Phoenix getting in the car. I didn't need to answer that because it was clear that Chance knew about it too. Chance stood near the window looking at Phoenix driving towards the headquarter's gate.

"He's happy, at least he leaves.. because he wants to be happy." Chance said and I could see Phoenix stopped his car right at the gate. The gate was already open and I know he was hesitating.

"Are you going to take all of his things out?" Chance asked and I nodded.

"I will."

Phoenix Sterling

I stopped my car right at the gate of the headquarters. My heart was heavy knowing the thoughts that I will leave everything for good. I found myself couldn't drive out from the headqurters knowing that I won't comeback here again.

I found myself crying and I couldn't even find the strength to drive out. It was pretty painful to me. I completely understand why Dean acting like this and I know he loves me as much as I love him. He's the best brother even though we're not related by blood.

My phone rang and it's Dean.

"Hello." I answered and I cried more.

"Go.. I don't want to hold you back anymore." He said and I could hear his cracking a little bit.

"I'm sorry."

"I'll be watching you now and then. Goodbye, Phoenix." He ended the call and that broke me. It slapped me back to reality realizing that I won't be able to see the boys more often.

I choose to be happy even though I have to give up something. ILLICIT will always be there and I know if I miss them, I could come and see them but everything will be different without them being a part of my life everyday.

I wiped my tears and put my hands around the steering wheel. I took a deep breath and drove out from the headquarters.

"I'll see you next time, ILLICIT."

Adrian Nielsen

When I heard about Phoenix leaving, I was not surprise. From now on and moving forward, I won't be able to see him often. It's a part of the rules and it's for our safety too. We usually can meet often because we're in the headquarters and I guess.. we have to deal with it.

I'm worried about Dean more in this situation. I wondered how he deals with this knowing that he loves every one of us a lot or else he won't be making this rules.

He lost a lot of people in his life. People even surprised that he's still able to live especially people who knew his past. I'm proud of him for keeping up with life even though it's that painful.

One day, he will come around. I know he will, he just needs time to understand and to open up.

None of us will do great after hearing this news. Phoenix was a part of us and he was one of those people who give strength when we're on our lowest point. Letting go won't be easy but I'm glad that he's happy.

He should be.. or else I won't hesitate to kill Lana.

No matter how good Lana is, Phoenix will still be my number one priority. If he dares to hurt him or break him, I won't hesitate to pull the trigger. Phoenix means a lot to us and if you mess with him, you'll face the consequences.

Now.. at this moment.. I bet Dean has people ready to kill Finn and Enzo. All he need to do is command them to pull the trigger and they will die instantly.

"I hope you'll do great in life, Phoenix." I said as I looked at his contact on my phone.

Angelo Vander

Phoenix left.

It was a painful leave despite being together through thick and thin for more than 5 years. I thought we will be in this together for a long run but I guess we grow up and need to go out from our own comfort zone.

I'm happy for Phoenix, I do and will always will.

After Phoenix leave, it felt empty instantly. Dean tried so hard not to be obvious but we all know that he's hurt. He's so hurt inside that he decided to talk a leave for a few days.

ILLICIT is my everything, Dean was right. I don't want to follow Phoenix's footsteps. I don't want to lose my one and only family.

"Goodbye, Phoenix. I'll see you around."

Chance Kyson

I walked into Phoenix's lab and couldn't help but feel sad. I understand where Phoenix stands and I understand more where Dean stands. Even though he's not a part of us anymore, we want him to be happy.

I know Dean won't stop watching over him now and then. I will too.

I looked at the pictures of us on his table and I couldn't help but smile looking at it. Memories. It will always be there and Phoenix will be around. I could call him and visit him if I miss him.

I turned to the big board with ILLICIT written on it. I sighed and sat down on the table facing that board on the wall. And again.. ILLICIT was named ILLICIT for a reason.

"I'll miss you, Phoenix." I whispered hoping that he could change his mind. I was hoping that he would turn around and say that he was just joking but I know he's not.

When I heard the door opened, I turned to see Dean walking in. He sighed when he saw me and he walked towards me.

"You miss him already?" I asked Dean and he didn't answer. We all know his answer and he looked at the board too.

"Life must go on, Chance." The pain in his voice was undescribable and this brings back old memories that we all don't want to remember.