ILLICIT #1 : New Moon

Chapter 43 - Sorry

Phoenix Sterling

"I love you." I practiced saying it in front of the mirror. I looked so dumb right now but I couldn't care less.

"Lana Castroff, you're officially.. uhmm.. Lana Sterling. ARGHHHHH!" That's so cheesy and cringey. I want to scratch the wall so bad at this point.

"I love you." I said flatly and I sighed. I threw my body to the sofa and looked up to the ceiling. This is so fucking dumb, why am I practicing this three words?

I'm a businessman, a billionaire. I've done a lot of speeches especially in front of a lot of people. I've make a lot of million euros deal but why am I acting nervous when it comes to saying those three words? Lana has been saying it and I always found myself not being able to say it.

I really need to make a recording of me saying it and listen to it every now and then so I will able to say it without hating it. This is so hard.

"I lo-" Suddenly the door bursted open exposing Lana with a bunch of shopping bags. "Sorry, I forgot to knock." She said and my jaw was already on the floor. I was shocked.

"What.. is this?" I asked looking at the shopping bags that she just put on the floor. "Your mother.. used her card until it reaches it's limit." She said and I looked at it one by one. There's a lot of dresses and shoes.. along with jewelries.

"What were you doing?" She asked as she looked at me raising her eyebrows. I was about to say something but couldn't.

"Phoenix?"

"I was just.. chilling. I was so stress out after a meeting." I said and she nodded. She plopped to the sofa and I sat beside her.

"Did my mother.. drain you off?"

"No, I love her. She's amazing. I never have a mother figure in my life so this is new." She said as she held my hand.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she turned to me.

"I'm good, why?" I said and she smiled. She gave a peck on my cheek and I smiled widely.

"I really want to tell the whole world that you're my wife." I said and Lana caressed my cheek.

"Me too."

"Phoenix darling.." We both turned to the door to see my mother. Her eyes widen when they see us together and I sighed.

"Mother, can you knock?" I asked and Lana smacked my chest. She got up from the sofa and she immediately leeching to my mother. I'm happy to see them together and glad that Lana is happy to have a mother figure in her life right now.

"Phoenix darling, I booked you two to have a fitting. I can't wait to see you in a wedding dress." She squealed and Lana chuckled.

"Now.. we have to go again.." My mother said as she grabbed Lana's hand. She dragged Lana out before even she can say something to me. I chuckled and closed my door.

Suddenly it hit me, if I'm getting married.. will I able to see my friends? I want them to be in my wedding. I walked towards my glass window and looked out to the busy streets in Paris.

I took my phone out and dialed Adrian's phone number. It kept ringing but no answer. I miss them a lot and I can't.. describe how heavy my heart is. When I was about to end the call, Adrian picked up.

"Hello."

"Hey." I greeted him and it felt so long since I talked to him when it's only been 3 weeks.

"You okay?" He asked in a sad tone. I couldn't help but having this weird emotions.

"I'm okay, I just.. miss you all." I said simply and Adrian chuckled.

"We miss you too, Phoenix. I'm currently having a meeting with Dean and Chance for the new X-10. It was your idea too huh?" He's right. X-10 was my idea and I'm not mad that they're using it. It supposed to be me in that meeting room.. not Chance.

"Yeah."

"End the call, Adrian." I could hear Dean's voice and I don't blame him a bit.

"I guess that's my cue. Talk to you some other time, Phoenix. Dean and Chance miss you too." He ended the call before I can say a word. I threw my phone to the table and sat on my chair.

"I miss you guys a lot. It will make me crazy sooner or later." I mumbled to myself. I got up and went down to the basement. I drove my car towards the headquarters, my plan was just to see it from a distant.

I miss it so much and I'm not regretting any of my decision. It's just.. it will take time for me to let it go. I would do anything to go back and be a part of ILLICIT again but I don't want to lose Lana. She's my life now.

I parked my car a mile from the headquaters and just sat there looking at the gate. The guards were looking around guarding and I sighed. I sat there for a while when the gate opened.

My eyes widen when I saw Dean's car going out from the headquaters. I found my body getting a little tense completely afraid that he will recognize my car. He has 4 cars guarding him and I tried my best to stay calm. I won't be able to make a U turn or hide.

When his car slowly getting closer, I gripped my steering wheel so hard. Suddenly all of the car stopped beside me and Dean opened his car window. I opened the window and Dean looked at me coldly. His guards even has their guns on me.

"You really want to get killed huh?" He asked as he got out from his car. I gulped nervously and he gestured me to get out from my car. I took off my seatbelt and got out. I have around 10 guns pointing at me right now and Dean walked closer to me.

"This is.. ILLICIT's territory and you're trespassing." He stood in front of me.

"I'm sorry, I just.." I looked down to the ground when suddenly he punched me so hard. The second I opened my eyes, I was already on the ground. Dean gripped the collar of my shirt lifting me up from the ground.

"I let you go.. guaranteed your safety.. what else do you want?!" He bursted angrily at me and I could feel the pain in his voice.

I hurt him.

Dean usually never punch people but when he does, it means he's hurt. I don't blame him and I won't put a fight either.

"What else do you want?!" He punched me again but harder this time.

"I'm sorry." I said as I slowly getting up from the ground. It was a hard blow and I could feel my jaw hurting.

"Sorry won't change a thing, Sterling. It won't change a thing." He grabbed the collar of my shirt again.

"I'm sorry."

"Get lost, never come here again. If you do, I will kill you and her." Dean said as pushed me to my car. He took a step back and he sighed. He looked at me one last time before he got into his car.

"Dean." I called him and he quickly drove away.

"I'm sorry."