Heart of Life (Teenage Punk Sequel)

Part Twenty Three

I stood in the mirror, studying every part of me. I traced my fingers over the bruises that covered my body, each a different shade of dark purple. My hand stopped over my face, tracing the ring around my eye. None of them seemed to hurt anymore. Each of them seemed to be telling a story, but I didn’t know what. I sighed as I slipped over a baggy tee over my head, it coming down to mid-thigh.

I walked downstairs, walking into the kitchen. I sighed as I looked through the cupboards, trying to find something to eat. Nothing seemed to scream ‘eat me’. I pushed myself up onto the bench, looking down at my arms, once again tracing the purple marks that covered my skin. How could something so tragic and painful be such a beautiful colour?

“Hi” I looked up and saw Calum leaning on the door frame, small smile on his face. “Hi” I smiled back. “How did I get them?” I half whispered, looking down at my arms once again, tracing the bruise on my wrist. After moments of silence I looked up, Calum now leaning on the island in front of me. Pain and anger filled his eyes. Our eyes met for a second before his dropped to the floor.

“Calum” I whispered, pushing myself off the bench. He sighed, looking up at me. “Jeff” he sighed, I looked at him confused. “Who’s Jeff?” I asked, “Your ex. You guys were going to get married…” He began. Everything after that seemed to just mix together as he told me the story behind each mark, the world becoming a blur as tears formed in my eyes. I slid my back down the counter, pulling my knees up to my chest as I hit the floor.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay” Calum whispered as he slid down beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him. “You’re safe now. I promised I would keep you safe” he whispered, kissing the top of my head. I slowly looked up at him, “Where have I heard that before?” I asked, the words ringing in the back of my mind. “I’ve said it many times before” he smiled.

“Calum, can we go somewhere for a few days, please” I asked, “I don’t want to be here anymore” he nodded slowly, helping me up. I walked up to my room, shoving clothes into a bag. I ran downstairs and saw Calum standing at the bottom. “We just have to stop off at mine and then we’ll be on our way, okay?” He smiled, I nodded slowly.

“Wanna come in?” Calum asked as we pulled up outside, I nodded, following him into his apartment.  I sat on the couch, looking around. I picked up a book on the table, flicking through it. I went to place it on the table, as something slipped out from between its pages. I slowly picked it up, turning it over in my fingers. It was us. We were. Kissing. We looked happy and in love. But I was engaged, so when did this happen? What went wrong? When did everything change?

“Ready” Calum yelled as he ran down the stairs. I quickly shoved the photo into my pocket, standing up before he reached the bottom. “Oh, one more thing” he smiled, reaching behind me, picking up the book from the table. I smiled a small smile at him, making our way out to the car. “So where to?” He asked, I shrugged, looking out the front of the car.

We drove and drove, with nowhere in sight. Things around me began to look a little familiar, like I’d been here before. “Turn left” I half whispered, looking at Calum. He looked at me with a small smile, nodding. We continued to drive, before pulling into a long drive way, stopping outside a batch. We both got out of the car, walking towards it slowly.

“What is this place?” Calum asked, walking towards the batch. “I don’t remember” I half whispered, looking around. It looked like nobody had been here in years. Vines ran along the porch and up the wooden poles, reaching up to the roof and the grass was long. Cobwebs covered the porch and lined the windows. It looked completely abandoned.

We walked in, placing our bags down, walking through the house. “This place is amazing” Calum smiled as he walked around, walking towards the back door. I nodded slowly, walking into the bedroom.  I walked over to the bed, sitting down, as I looked around the room. I open the draw beside the bed, picking up the folded piece of paper that lay in the draw.

“Elsa, I know you probably don’t want to hear this, and you probably don’t want to read it in a note. But this is something I need to say. Jeff’s not the dude for you. Trust me, I’ve seen you with him and I’ve seen you without him. You’re 10 times better without. I’ve seen the way you look at him and I’ve seen the way you look at. The way you look at Cal. I know this is the last thing you probably want to read, but it’s the truth. I know you still love Cal, I can see it in your eyes. When you and Cal were together, it was the happiest time of your life. I know he made his mistakes, and trust me, I made sure he did know he made a mistake. But he’s changed and he regrets it and he’s just not the same without you. I don’t know how to explain it, but you two need each other. You complement each other. Can you at least give him a call? For me? Love you long time, Mikey”

I held the note in my hand, re-reading it over and over again. I pulled out the photo from my pocket, holding it together with the note. “I know you still love Cal, I can see it in your eyes” I whispered, staring at the photo. I stared at the photo for so long, I forgot where I was. I was trying so hard to remember the feelings Mikey was telling me about.

“No” Calum yelled, bringing me out of my thoughts. I ran out into the lounge, he stood there, book in hand, franticly shaking it. “What’s wrong?” I asked, walking closer. He looked up at me, before his eyes travelled down to my hands. “You have it” he sighed with relief, “I was just looking” I whispered, looking down at my hands.

 “I wish I could remember” I whispered. We sat on the couch, Calum holding the letter, reading it over and over. He looked up at me, sadness in his eyes, but a small smile on his face. “I wish I could do it over. Without the mistake” He sighed, a slight chuckle as he looked back down at the letter. “What was your mistake?” I asked, looking at him slowly.

The smile dropped from his face, his thumb running over the photo. “It was a drunken mistake, I want you to know that” He whispered, “It was something I never meant to do, I never wanted to hurt you. It was the worst thing I could have possibly done” He looked up at me for a second before his eyes dropped once more, my mouth dropping open as the words left his mouth.

“So you cheated on me?” I asked, he nodded slowly. We sat there in silence for a while, I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t mad, which I don’t know how I couldn’t be mad. Maybe I was done being mad at him for his mistake. Then something crossed my mind. “Why did Jeff and I break up? Other than the uh” I began, looking down at my arms. “He cheated on you” He whispered, I chuckled as I shook my head, Calum looking at me confused. “How bad of a girlfriend do you have to be to be cheated on twice” I chuckled slightly.

“It was the biggest mistake of my life” Calum whispered, “I didn’t mean to I swear, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t be sorry enough. I’m just…”. “I’m not mad” I interrupted, he looked at me confused. “I can’t tell you why I’m not mad, but I’m not mad. I think I was done being mad at you” I shrugged, he nodded. Looking at me, eye’s hopeful. I smiled, at him, grabbing his hand. “I don’t remember us, but from this picture I can tell it was love. From what I’ve been told, I’d…” I paused, looking down at our hands, I whispered so quietly, that I myself barely heard the words leave my lips, “I’d try us again”