The Protection

Thirty-Five

The night was still extremely warm as I meandered down the concrete steps from Ben's third floor apartment. I tried not to touch the black railing that was still too hot from the scorching afternoon sun, my mind replaying what had just transpired with Ben. He had been sleeping with someone else?! How had I not known? I had practically lived at his place for months now. When did he even have the time?!

I walked around the side of the beige stucco building and noticed a curvy girl seated on the curb. Alone. Her red hair was pulled back into a low bun and her pale freckled shoulders were slumped over, defeated. Crystal/Christine. Beth's gold Mercedes convertible shimmered brilliantly from where it was parked beneath a street light in the parking lot, but I paused. It didn't sit well with me how sad and lonely she looked. I slowly walked over to her, careful not to startle her.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, placing a concerned hand on her warm shoulder. Suddenly we weren't in the dimly lit parking lot anymore.

Crystal/Christine sat in the living room of her small one bedroom apartment at The Reserve staring blankly at the pale wall. Her sadness was overwhelming, palpable. She was never pretty enough, never good enough to be included in anything. She had no friends, no boyfriend, no one. She was alone, always. No one would even notice if she didn't make it to class tomorrow, if she just disappeared. It was then I saw what was in her lap: a small black pistol. Bullets fanned out around her on the beige shag carpet. My fingers squeezed tighter into her shoulder. I wanted to scream, wanted to tell her no, that I cared. She slowly loaded each metallic bullet into the chamber. Her hands shook. Her tears stained her lilac purple top, falling faster and faster until they made mascara lines down her cheeks. She slowly raised the gun up to her face, positioning the tip directly into her mouth. She closed her eyes, and I closed mine, bracing for impact. But nothing happened.

Slowly her green eyes opened to a brilliant room with honeydew light yellow walls and sunshine peeking through the window. She moved slowly towards the window, but didn't notice the lilac top had now transformed into a stark white hospital gown. She moved the sheer white curtain aside where it was blowing in the cool breeze. A small balcony led to the most incredible ocean view she had ever seen. The deep blue water smiled back at her, the waves winking off the early morning sunlight. Where was she?! Suddenly, a woman appeared next to her on the balcony.

"Hello, Christine," she said softly. She was beautiful, with flawless dark skin and a bright, kind smile. Her small silver name badge indicated she was 'Protector Washington'. Christine's eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"Am I in heaven?" she asked, but the woman shook her head and smiled.

"No darling, you are at The Center. It's one of our compounds for mental health and rehabilitation," she said, placing her small, smooth hand on Christine's forearm. "We are here to help you. All we need is for you to sign this form, to promise you will maintain our privacy, and you will feel better." It was all Christine had wanted, someone to care, to fix her. She took The Protector's pen and signed the form in big blue letters. Protector Washington smiled and led her down a bright white hallway with light bamboo floors and dreamy paintings on the walls and into a large common room. The room overlooked the brilliant water with ten other young people, seated in a semicircle in white wooden chairs, wearing similar white gowns. Each person turned as she entered and smiled at her, welcoming her into their group. She had finally found her place, with other sad souls with bandages on their wrists and heaviness in their hearts.

The program worked wonders, and over the next three months, Christine was healed from the inside out. She was eventually discharged back into the normal world six months ago. Everything had been fine in the beginning, but she could feel the isolation and sadness begin to creep in again. She tried to use the strategies The Protection had taught her, but it was becoming more and more difficult to cope with daily life.

I pulled my hand away from her and she turned to me, her lips forming a guarded modest smile.

"Hi, Perry," she said, turning her gaze back towards the parking lot.

"Hi, Christine," I answered sitting next to her on the curb. "I never knew you lived here."

She nodded, "For about a year and a half now." She wrung her hands nervously in her lap. I reached out to stop her.

"I'm sorry I never realized," I said genuinely, and she nodded and her eyes lit up. "You know if you ever need anything, I'm here, right? I know we really only have Organic Chemistry class together, but over the past couple of months, I feel like we've become close. I consider you my friend." The smile reached her eyes now.

"Thank you, Perry. I consider you my friend too, " she said honestly, and I fought the urge to hug her. Baby steps.

"Why don't you go up to the third floor. I hear there's a baseball party going on, and they are in need of more friends too," I promised, giving her a wink, and internally reminding myself to text Beth and encourage her to include Christine into the conversation.

"I'm not sure..." Christine countered, looking uneasy at the thought of putting herself out there. Again.

"Seriously, you should go," I insisted, standing and dusting the dirt off of my red dress.

"Aren't you going back inside? Ben Thomas is your boyfriend, right?" she raised her eyebrows, and I fought the sadness I felt over his betrayal.

"Not anymore." I smiled tightly. "I'm going for a drive." I said, walking towards the Mercedes.

"Hey, Perry. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for," Christine said gently somewhere behind me, and I turned around.

"Yeah, you too." I said earnestly smiling as she turned and began to climb the apartment steps towards the baseball party.