The Protection

Thirty-Nine

The next morning I stifled a yawn as I reached my arms up over my head, and felt so incredibly well rested for the first time in weeks. I rolled over, reaching out for my personal Protector, but the bed was cold. My eyes snapped open to find the bright early afternoon sun pilfering through my windows. I turned my head, searching for Kyler, but only found the most perfect white rose adorning the pillow where his head had once been. I recognized it from outside of his living room window, it was one of the roses that had pricked into my thigh the night I had seen Kyler with Alana. The night he broke up with her. I picked up the long green stem and ran my fingers over the petals before pressing the flower to my nose. I rolled back to my pillow and tucked the rose against my chest and smiled. Last night had been so surreal. The kissing, the holding, the way I had felt all of him and he had felt me. The fact that we hadn't been completely intimate now seemed so minute. He wanted me, not Alana. I didn't know which aspect I selfishly enjoyed more.

My door suddenly swung open, and I jumped thinking the rabbit killer had finally found me, but instead of a bloodied axe, Beth stood in my doorway. She boasted a beautiful triumphant smile across her face and her blonde hair hung long in loose waves around her shoulders. Her simple teal maxi dress dusted the floor as she bounded over and plopped onto the foot of my bed. I found myself stuffing the flower beneath my pillow, knowing I would have difficulty explaining it to Beth. The daggers Ben threw my direction daily at Chapel would make things very clear to anyone with a pulse that we were over.

"Did you have a boy over last night?" she teased, but something in her eyes felt a little too intrusive. I felt a shiver move through my bones. For some strange reason, I knew she could never know about Kyler and that bothered me. We had never kept anything from each other, but I felt like he had one rule for me: secrecy. I smiled the best I could praying the emotion would spread to my eyes.

"The only boy I had over last night was Ryan Gosling in The Notebook." Beth returned my smile and didn't pry further, but I could tell she didn't believe me. A side effect of four years of best friendship. "The real question is where did you sleep last night?" I asked as I stood up from my bed and pulled my hair into a tight ponytail. Beth rose too and walked slowly towards my door.

"I ended up coming home after all. I decided I need to focus on something other than boys for a little while." I turned to look at her. That comment was one of the most un-Beth things she'd ever said. She shrugged, playing with the gold ribbon on her wrist. "I have my sights set on something a little different." She breezed out of my room and down the hallway before I had a chance to ask her what that meant. I hated keeping secrets from her, but I hated the thought of losing Kyler even more.