𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐖𝐚𝐫 // 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐲

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞.

Based of - 5x06, 5x01 (kinda)
Words - 1960
Warnings - alcoholism, mentions of torture.  

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There was only the fire from inside the cave that was able to help you see, along with the shine that was falling from the moon. You should have probably been more aware of your surroundings. This collar on you wasn't about to just pop off because you and Murphy had had an argument. Though, you had made sure to stay close enough to the cave to make sure your signal wasn't able to meet Mccreary. But you were also close enough to join Murphy's view.

While he sat, awaiting for Emori to open the shock collar, his eyes were constantly clued to your body. Not that it was a good idea. Every now and again, the girl would get to close and his whole body would shake out of place. "Talk to her," Emori advised, not bothering to move her eyes away from the collar.

Murphy scoffed at his friend's suggestion. Talk to you? While you were like this? He could tell from here that the bottle was still lingering in your grip. That was the only sign he needed to know that he wasn't going to make a move to make things right. "And say what exactly? I didn't do anything wrong. I was trying to help her and she made a fuss." He complained, recalling what had happened earlier in the day. Murphy didn't blame himself. Of course he didn't. This was John Murphy, he never blamed himself.

"She is ill, John." Emori reminded him and just like that, he felt like he was back on the Ark again, forced to take care of his mother. "She doesn't realise that by doing what she is, not just hurting herself but the people around her. And I know that you are one of the only people that can get through to her. So, get through to her." The woman continued to tell him and Murphy's eyes soon wondered back to where your body sat.

He watched as your eyes met the star that fell above you and he could read how your mind was re-telling your stories. He just wasn't sure what stories. Maybe about him, maybe not. But he could wish.Even when you were mad at him, he could wish that you were just recalling the good times you had both shared. And oh how the man would beg for the back. On the Ring, Murphy found himself actually wishing to back in the Bunker. At least there he had music, actual food. But, most importantly, he had you.

So, the man followed Emori's instructs and stood from the fall, making his way to where your body had been place on the dirt covered ground just outside the cave. You didn't have to look up. You knew John would sit here way before Emori could get the chance. But neither of you could say a word. A part of you wanted to scream and yell, continuing your tone from earlier, but another part of you just wanted to forgive and forget.

Then the boy sighed and you forced yourself to turn and look at him. "I'll apologise for remembering you as someone different than you are now. But I won't apologise for not being worried for you." He started to go on. "I know you don't realise it but we're all scared, Y/n. We're terrified that one day you're going to pass out and never wake up again." Then he paused. Murphy ponded on what to say next. Whether you would assure him or whether you would fake a smile and just tell him it was okay. "Y/n, i'm terrified for you."