The North

Chapter 17: Remember

"Has this become our unofficial meeting spot?" Tau laughed after entering KB's car. It was midnight and Tau had arrived alone in the McDonalds parking lot which was empty except for their two silver cars: KB's GTI and Tau's BMW parked next to it.

"You came alone this time." KB commented after locking the car doors. "I assumed you would bring Lesedi... like last time."

"She's busy." Tau responded.

"Does she know you're here meeting me?" KB asked.

Tau opened the passenger seat window and fished for a cigarette and lighter from the inside pocket of his jacket.

"Is it okay if you don't do that inside the car?" KB questioned, feeling nervous while making the request.

"Lesedi doesn't know I'm here. What do you want to talk about?" Tau responded after lighting the cigarette and blowing the smoke into KB's face.

KB coughed, and then proceeded to open his own window as well as the two windows in the backseat of the car to let some fresh air in.

"Well...There's this thing happening in a week's time. An Investment Summit." KB began to explain "And the who's who of African business will all be there. I've organized some extra tickets for you guys."

"Cool." Tau replied before blowing more smoke into the vehicle.

KB coughed again, and then his eyes began to water. He wiped the tears away with the sleeve of his shirt.

"You brought me all the way out here to tell me that?" Tau continued. His demeanor was cold, and KB unexpectedly found himself wishing Lesedi had in fact come along with Tau because even though KB disliked her she was – unlike Tau - consistent in the way she treated him.

KB felt himself shrink; he was suddenly unsure of why exactly he had texted Tau to meet him so late in the night. Surely everything about the Investment Summit could have been communicated to Tau through a single text message, KB began to think to himself as a slow wave of shame washed over him. And KB was about to apologize to Tau for wasting his time when his phone began to vibrate in his pocket.

Tau rolled his eyes and sighed, reaching for his own phone when KB took the call.

"Hello?" KB said, trying his best to sound assertive and confident.

There was no response from the other side of the line.

"Hello?" KB repeated, feeling his heart beat a little faster in his chest.

He was about to hang up the call when he heard the slow rhythmic sound of someone breathing on the other end of the line. The exact same sound he had heard weeks ago in the kitchen of his mother's apartment while waiting for his food in the microwave. He quickly hung up the call.

Are Kamo and the Come-ups behind these mysterious calls, KB thought to himself, recalling how Mbali had warned him weeks before that Kamo was asking around about him. KB had even raised the issue with Lesedi and Tau the last time they had met in the very same parking lot but both of them had laughed in response, even going so far as to call KB naïve. "Kamo isn't the only one checking up on you... the whole of Joburg is" Tau had said that night. So much had happened since then that KB had simply forgotten to ask Mbali what she had meant. Had she also received similar calls? What about Senzo and Thato? The thoughts made KB dizzy, and he was about to call Mbali when the sudden sound of Tau's voice reminded him that he was not alone in the vehicle: "I'm going to be off now if you don't have anything else to sa-"

"What was it like for you?" KB heard himself ask. The question escaped him – it also surprised him - and KB once again began to feel the tugging and pulling deep in his chest. He surrendered to the feeling and let it speak.

"What was it like for me?" Tau questioned. The inside of the car fell silent and Tau stared at KB with a confused look etched on his face.

"What was it like when you began to rise to the top, Tau?" KB asked.

Tau locked his phone and returned it to the pocket he had retrieved it from.

"Well..." Tau began "What has it been like for you, KB?" he said, returning the question to KB. Something in Tau's voice reminded KB of the sky-blue afternoon they had shared that day on the Neighbourgoods sun deck - brief as it was. Perhaps it was the sudden warmness in his voice – slight as it was - and the way it made the inside of KB's car feel like a safe space.

"It's been the hardest thing I've ever been through..." KB responded, surprising himself with the honesty.

"Do you remember why you wanted all of this before it started to happen?" Tau asked, still staring at KB, his eyes searching for something in KB's own.

The question unlocked a trapdoor in KB's mind, and all the memories came spilling out: Ma and her children being abandoned by Baba; them having to scrape together a new life for themselves; KB being excluded from two Universities; Ma crying herself to sleep late at night; the unpaid bills stacked high on the dining room table. And just when the trapdoor was about to close one more memory came sliding out. KB saw himself sitting in his car in the parking lot of the Harem nightclub, his face disfigured like the melting wax of an old candle. Mbali, Senzo, and Thato were in the car too; their own faces equally as terrifying. And then KB heard a terrifying voice spill out of the ugly hole that opened up in his face: "Turning twenty-four years old today, I've decided that I want nothing more than to make my mother proud. No more nonsense. I'm going to make a name for myself. I'm going to become someone." the voice echoed.

"Yes..." KB whispered to Tau. He was staring out at the empty night ahead, unsure of when exactly he had turned his gaze away from Tau. And then the trapdoor hidden somewhere in KB's mind closed shut, and KB suddenly remembered where he was. "Yes, I remember." He repeated.

"That's all that matters" Tau responded. "That's all you need to think about when it gets hard."

KB remained still as Tau unlocked the door and exited the vehicle, disappearing into the cold.

"I'll see you at the summit" KB heard Tau say before slamming the door closed and driving off into the night.

***

The parking lot was no longer empty when KB eventually brought his car to a start. There was another car in the parking lot, and it wasn't parked far from KB's own. The car, which had its lights turned off, had a deep maroon color - the same color as the suit Tau had worn the night KB first met him. And it reminded KB of an expensive bottle of red wine.