You Helped Me To See (Death Note Fanfic)

Twelve / Epilogue - Shattered With A Shotgun

The plane lands at Heathrow. I head to passport control, I still feel numb. I called Dani at the airport in Japan, told her I was coming home. I got my belongings from Ash's building and somehow was able to stuff all of the essential items into a bag for hand luggage.Dani will be waiting for me.

I'm handed my passport back.

"Welcome home, Miss Grey." the lady says. I nod to her but my eyes are fixed on Dani's. Her eyes are brimming with tears. I told her about the fact that Ash and Grandpa died. She declared that instead of Ash taking care of me, she would.

It's been such a long time but Dani still looks like Dani. Her long auburn curls fall to her elbows and her eyes are framed by long lashes. Her style of dress is the same; my best friend is wearing a pair of skinny jeans, a burgundy blouse and a crop leather jacket. She hasn't changed at all. Have I changed...? I sigh, of course I have.

"Hisui!" Dani and I embrace.

"I've missed you so much!" I beam.

"I've missed you too!" I exclaim. "It's so good to be home! Shall we get a coffee?"

"Nah...C''mon, the kids at the orphanage are so happy you're coming home." Dani tugs on my arm.

"I got you some gifts!" I declare, feigning bliss.

"Yay!" I hand her most of Sakura Anuzu's wardrobe contents...or at least...the best parts.

Dani squeals at the plethora of clothes. We link arms and she leads us to the carpark. Her car is waiting for us. We climb in.

"What were you doing in Japan for so long?" Dani pouts.

"Sightseeing... And finding answers. " I murmur.

"Oh...did you find what you wanted? "

I nod once, making a fist."I've lost who I am and I can't understand. "

"You lost Ash. No wonder..." Dani holds my hand. "All is lost but hope remains...I won't judge you if you cry."

I haven't cried yet. Not truly. I wept in shock but if I let it out, I'll flood the car. I don't want to cry. Too bad I know that my Great Uncles are the only people at Wammys House to know that Grandpa died hunting Kira. Reason clouds my eyes. I can't cry. I have to be stable. I have to be strong.

Dani drives onto the grounds. The orphanage hasn't changed either. I wave to Dani upon thanking her for taking me home. I open the door of the orphanage and head to Great Uncle Roger's office.I drop my bag outside the door before barging in.

"I won't work with him!" Mello refuses.

"Some things never change, huh, Mello?" I raise a brow.

Near looks up from his puzzle. He gives me the smallest smiles and nods once before returning his attention to the puzzle.

"I just can't work with him!"

"Guess you two heard. About Grandpa and Ash..." I trail off.

"We did." Near nods. Did he wipe his eyes just now! Is Near crying? I feel a stabbing sensation in the pit of my stomach.

"The end's beginning. " I declare. "I'll help the successor of L."

"There are two of us." Mello rolls his eyes at me.

"Yay Mello! You can count." I jab the custard blond with my elbow.

He jabs me back. "Shut up."

"Hisui! This is a private meeting!" Uncle Jun bursts through the door.

"I've been on the Kira case just as long as Grandpa and L!" I shout. "I'm not to be underestimated."

"She's right, Jun." Uncle Roger states, head hung.

"I said it once and I'll say it again! I'm not working with him!" Mello stoirms out of the room. I make a fist and follow him.

"MELLO!" I call, running after him, to his room. "Come back!"

I open the door and am faced by him.

"This war's not over." I declare.

"I know. We're fighting this our ways." Mello tosses me a box.

"What's all this?" I cock a brow.

"It's all of your mail. You got two more letters this morning and a huge parcel. Did Dani send presents or was that something you couldn't get through airport security?" The azure eyed boy smirks.

I take the box, sitting on Mello's floor and tipping out the contents, opened university acceptance letters, bank statements... Wait...this package was sent from Japan right after I left, maybe a week after.

'Hisui,

I don't know what has convinced me to write you this letter after all of these years. Maybe it's my imminent death. I couldn't care less about my motives. There are two items in this package for you. Use them wisely.

But remember this, before you look at those gifts. When I first picked up a lighter...I lost who I am...I can't understand, even now, why my heart is so broken, why I rejected your love. I'm an idiot not to have dated you. What a waste, looking at your body now. I wish I could have had at it.

I know something important too...about Kira. I told someone to tell you. Just listen to her and you'll be much safer. I know one thing, Hiusui...this is my first and final letter. My chest hurts. My left side is numb. I've ruined your life. So I don't care if heaven won't take me back.

Dwaine.'

I hiccup. Dwaine wrote to me...he wrote to me on the night that he died. He wanted me to have something of his...so I guess I should check these gifts out. I brush bast something almost leathery before finding something cold and fine that I can hook my finger around. I pull the first item from my package. It's a necklace with an hourglass design, its border is an apple going into its core. There are grey beads in the hourglass...

"Why would someone put ash in an hourglass...?" Mello looks over my shoulder as he wanders his room.

I shriek in horror. Ash! Oh my god! That can't be! That can't be his ashes? No! No! No!

"Hisui..." My friend say uncertainly. Stay calm. Stay calm. Go to your room. There and only there can you freak out like a deranged madwoman.

"I'm going to my room. See you later, Mello." I wave, leaving with my box of letters. My eyes widen when I see a long crate on my bed.

I open it and fall to my knees. My Grandpa's...my Grandpa's shotgun! The gun he said was his most prized material possession. Why isn't uncle Jun holding this? Or even Uncle Roger! Why me.

There's a note taped to it...

'Fight until the war's won. This war's not over.'

"Hisui Grey. Nineteen years old. Half Japanese, half English. Assistant to the world famous detective, L. Former friend of Dwaine." I look behind me and scream, hand over my mouth. I'm holding the shotgun. I point it up at this thing. How? How does it know about me?

"You're showing vitality. You want to live, not just survive. I doubted his thoughts of you. He called you 'his only adversary that may have been worth his time'" Typical narcissistic personality then. Kira..? Kira thought I was worthy?

"You have touched the note, I am therefore under your control. I answer to you and you only."

"Shi-Shi-Shin-Shinigami!!!!"