Tainted

6

It seems it was only yesterday that I had been discharged from a hospital and now I'm back.

The stranger had taken me to the pack's hospital or so the doctor told me when I first came through. He had asked me to go back to sleep and left the room. My leg was in a cast and I knew for certain it was broken. I'm yet to hear the verdict on what exactly happened.

I know it's silly to hope after the blows I'd sustained yesterday but I can't help but hope that my baby was safe. It's innocent, just six weeks old.

I woke to the sound of voices just outside of the room. One I didn't recognize but the other one, I'd never forget since it belonged to alpha Hall.

"This doesn't concern you Ronan. Just leave it"

"It might not concern me but when I see four she wolves gang up to beat one then I have to step in Mason".

Mason. That was his name. Mason Hall. It suits him. From the sound of things I assume he's talking to the stranger that helped me.

"Yea well she deserved it" no amount of beating could have hurt me as much as those words did especially since it came from my mate. "Did you see what she did to Charlotte's face. She had a broken nose"

"And the girl has a broken leg. I know you think you know what you're doing Mase but you're gonna regret this"

"Remember who you speak to Ronan. You maybe your little brother but I am still your alpha" my mate's words were threatening and terrifying. So the stranger is his brother.

"Excuse me alpha, Ronan" the doctor says coming into my view. "I'm going to see the patient, keep her updated with her health"

"We'll come with" and they all step into the room. The doctor smiles a little at me while both men retain that blank mask I've come to associate with my mate.

"So miss..."

"Bonnie. Bonnie Sanders"

"Miss Sanders we've been able to get your medical records from your previous pack which explained a lot of things".  My mate looks curiously at the doctor but the doctor doesn't acknowledge him but fixes his eyes on me. "So the good news is you're healing nicely and should be able to move around well in no time. The bad news however is that we were unable to save your pup".

My heart sinks as my mate's gaze snaps towards me at the news. It didn't have to die. No one will love me now or be with me. I'll end up alone and miserable.

"You were already bleeding and your womb was already injured so we had to evacuate what was left. I'm sorry" and with that he left the room.

The silence was deafening as I try to swim out of the agony I feel. I look up at the stranger, Ronan. His face still a blank mask but his eyes full of sympathy.

"Thank you sir, for bringing me here" I finally say.

"It's fine" his voice gruff "I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you get better soon". He looks at my mate for a beat before leaving the room as well. And then there were two.

"At least now I know why you were so eager to be rejected" he says. His voice filled with disgust and I flinch. "You're even more pathetic than I thought you were. You disobeyed me. Why"?

I look at him at that, with wide eyes as I shook my head, no.

"Yes you did. I told to keep your distance away from my pack mates yet you had the audacity to attack one of the she wolves"

"No please. She attacked me first. They ganged up on me. I was on my own please" I plead. "They came to at me while I was on my own"

"Right. If you had stayed in the cabin like I had instructed then this wouldn't have happened" he says. I shall my head as I flop back on the bed, wincing as I hurt my ribs again.

Nothing I say will placate him. He hates me and from the looks of things, he'll never believe a word I say even if all evidence points to me as the innocent party.

It's like Novu all over again but at least, with Novu, he didn't let his lackeys anywhere near me. He tortured me himself. I can't believe that in this moment, I'm comparing my mate to Novu and actually I'd rather be with Novu than to suffer here like this.

With Novu I had liberties, limited but still. With Novu, he tried to treat me like his queen, even though it was sick and twisted and I was disgusted with it all. At least with Novu my wolf wasn't somewhere I couldn't reach.

I wonder if my mate's wolf was happy with the way he's been treating me.

"I've been too lenient with you. Too giving" he says, bringing my attention back to him. "From now on, you will get only one meal per day. You will not step foot outside of that cabin and a guard would be posted to make sure you actually follow the rules this time".

He throws one more scathing look my way before he turns to leave. The room cold as he leaves, sealing my fate.

***

Depression.

I know that I'm sinking more and more into it. I left the hospital two days ago and before I left, the doctor only came in to give me my medication and that is it.

Now I'm back in this cabin. Lonely and depressed. True to his word, I only got one meal a day and a guard posted out to make sure I don't leave.

As I sit alone, looking out the window, I mourn. I mourn my unborn child that I'll never get to see or hold in my arms. I mourn the life I was supposed to have that I'll never be able to.

What else is there for me. My family, my friends are happy in their own lives. At least they aren't worried about me anymore. I've found my mate and to them I'm happy. There's nothing left for me to do.

Maybe Novu was right. No one would ever love me the way he did. It was sick and twisted but I guess that's all I have left now and that is my new normal.

It'll be so easy.

As the thought occurs to me I grasp at it. It's a way to escape, to finally be free of everything, of all the pain, the hurt. I leave the window and go in search of something I could use.

Finally I see a blade in the bathroom. It's perfect. Tomorrow is a full moon. They will all be busy and Mason would be praying to get a new mate. Yes tomorrow and I'll finally be free.

I continued the rest of the day as usual. Sitting by the window, cleaning the already clean house and waiting for my meal. After the food is dropped, I eat before bathing and getting ready for bed.

That night, I welcome the nightmares as they come, knowing that at last, I'll never have them again. That after it'll be the end.

The next day, I had the same routine. Biding my time, waiting for the right opportunity. I knew everyone was busy and even if they weren't, no one would pay attention to me. After all, my own mate saw me as the trash, the insect.

Finally it was dark and I could feel the moon rising. By now, my mate should be praying for someone better than me. Someone he deserves and me well, I'm going to do what I want that'll give me what I deserve, what should have been done before Novu had the sick infatuation with me.

I took my bath first. Lathering my skin with the moisturizing potion my momma had given me, drank water then filled the tub. When it was full enough, I climbed in with the blade that I had secured for the job.

I tore through the veins on my wrist in my right hand before going for the left. Then, rested against the tub, feeling euphoric for the first time in a long time.

I can finally be free. I could feel the blood leaving, just like my pup had left me. I welcomed the peace that I know would finally have. I succumbed to the light headed feeling I was beginning to feel from the loss of blood. I knew the end was near.

As I drifted off, I could vaguely hear the slam of a door but I paid no mind to it, ignoring the voices I heard shortly after as well. Nothing concerns me anymore, just my peace.  Finally, I could feel deaths embrace as it lifts me and with that I said goodbye.

*Thanks for reading 😘
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