Tainted

10

I wonder if there's a limit to how much a person can be shocked and if there is, I think my quota is just right about full.

"What"? I had to ask. I don't think my hearing is quite right and if it is the maybe my understanding is faulty.

"I know this is coming so out of left field for you" he says calmly like what he's saying makes perfect sense to him. Like I hadn't gone to hell and back because of him, like he hadn't once thought I was a thorn in his side.

Maybe it's the air in here I think and make to get up but he beats me to it. The next second I see him squatting in front of me, close but not touching. My skin hums at his closeness and I realize this is the closest we've been.

"Listen Bonnie" he starts and I couldn't repress the shiver that goes through at his us of my name, a name he had never really used before. "I've thought about this a lot, I mean, I know it won't be easy especially the with the way I've been a dick to you ever since we met but I want this. I want to get to know you better and be the one who makes you smile and laugh, I just want you".

He says and I'm reeling. Is this the same person that the only emotions I've read off him towards me was disgust, annoyance and resentment. The same person who told me there would never be an 'us'?

In all honesty, I don't even know what to feel. I've worked at being so guarded against him and for the first time I'm actually ok, I'm not sure I'm willing to see all of that crumble.

I feel my wolf move a bit but that's all. Well no help there I guess.

"Say something" he urges me, still perched on front of me.

"I don't know what you want me to say. It's shocking that you would want that with me, after all you have said to me. I may be your mate alpha Hall but I'm tainted" I say to remind him. Maybe it skipped his memory or something.

"It's Mason" he stresses "and I know that but it wasn't your fault, you were the victim" and I had to laugh at that. It was a sad humourless laugh.

"I don't think that made much of a difference" I state.

"And that's on me" he says then he takes my hand. We both gasp at the amazing feeling like little bursts of energy where we touch. He stares at my hand in wonder then moving his other hand towards my face. I edge away in fright and he drops it but keeps his hold on my hand.

"I know I have so much to make up for, so much mending between us to do, to get your trust, your friendship and love" he says softly and I have trouble reconciling this person in front of me that's holding my hand so gently and looking at me as if the sun rises and sets with me to the brooding tyrant that just about foams at the mouth at the mere thought of me.

"Why"? I had to ask. "Why now? I'm still the same person"

"I'm not. It's been hard on me too, I've been hard on me and my wolf as well. I just didn't know how to accept the fact that my mate had been with another" he says somberly. "I know this is a lot to take in so I'll give you some space, some time to think about it and let me know how you feel".

He says before dropping my hand. It felt cold but I folded and squeezed it. I got up to leave and he walked me to the car. I didn't wait to share another word but scrambled into the seat and the driver drove off.

As I lay in bed that night, I couldn't help but recollect every experience I've had with him and in all, I couldn't really see him suffering or anything. He seemed normal to me.

***

"I want you to be mine" Mason kneels before me, my hand in his as we seat at his dinner table.