Tainted

11

I know agony, I've experienced it and at some point, I've learned to live with it as a constant companion but somehow seeing it on my mate's expression makes it very hard to bear.

It looks like he's in actual physical pain after I reminded him of the command he placed. I didn't remind him to cause him pain, maybe a little, very miniscule part of me did, but I told him that because I really didn't want to go. I wouldn't know how to act around these people. I know there are various rumors about me.

"Bonnie, it goes without saying that I've been an idiot, a stupid pained idiot and I took my anger on not having my mate out on you. I shouldn't have done that, please, I regretted everything I said immediately after but my pride wouldn't let me apologize or take it back".

"It doesn't really matter Mason, I didn't say it to hurt you I'm sorry but I wouldn't even know how to act around the pack as I'm certain that I've been the topic of rumors"

"It does matter, it does. You're my mate. I was so mad when I heard those girls jumped you then I was mad at myself for being mad because I'm not supposed to have feelings for you but then I did have and everything was so conflicted inside but then I took it out on you".

He had feelings for me? I thought to myself in shock.

"I punished the girls you know. As a matter of fact, they just got done serving their punishment when I came back" he said. I gaped at him. He hated me at the time or so it seemed if what he's saying is true. He sighs, looking up before back at me. "Bonnie, you're permitted to meet with the pack, associate and in the future, become a pack member. Now would you please come to the pack barbecue".

"I'm not ready to meet the pack yet Mason" i voice my thoughts.

"You don't have to be introduce to them officially. I just want you to get used to them a bit and if you feel uncomfortable, Ronan can bring you back here". It sounds like a tempting offer.

"Okay fine, I'll come" and my breath gets stuck in my throat at the smile that takes over his face. It transforms his face giving him a godlike look. So perfect.

"Thank you. I have to go now but I'll see you later. Take care today" he says, hovering a bit like he wanted to do something else but turns and leaves.

I just pray I haven't made a mistake agreeing to go but I did agree to be friends. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be a mate to him but he seems serious about it. In all honesty, it feels nice receiving all this positive attention from him, I'd hate for him to change.

***

"Bonnie, are you ready? It's time to go" I hear Ronan call from outside and take a deep breath to steady myself. Much like yesterday and preparing for the dinner, I felt anxious. This time I know for sure the whole pack would be there, judging me the moment I get there.

"Yeah, I'm done" I finally call out, taking one last glance at the sundress I was wearing. It was a plain blue which matched my eyes and I remember when Meg and I picked it out. I missed her, at least she'd have been able to calm me down a bit if she was here.

"So how exactly does this thing go in your pack" I ask Ronan as he drives us.

"It's pretty laid back, meant for pack bonding and Bonnie it's not just going to be my pack alone soon, not with the way the winds blowing" he says and I look at him curiously

"What do you mean Ronan"?

"I know my brother's finally pulled his head out of his ass" he says matter of fact, throwing a wry glance my way which causes me to blush. He pulls up at the pack house and he leads the way to the back. "He's been talking to me, asking me questions about you. He wants to make amends Bonnie, he really regrets what he's done to you".