To The Moon And Back

Chapter 26

I wander around the empty corridors, my vision blurry and distorted. Fragments of my heart splatter on the ground. I sink to the floor, trying to collect them, each shard clawing away at my soul.

I can't even cry anymore, I have already shed an ocean. No tears escape my eyes, my eyes can't wrap itself around this cruel reality.

Jay is between life and death.

I wipe my tears and get up. I shouldn't care how he is. I shouldn't care.

He's in love with me.

That doesn't matter. He's not a good person. I should hate him. Why don't I hate him? Why do I feel a crack in my heart?

I can't even think straight, now. Maybe I should just go to bed. Maybe things will become clearer in the morning. Maybe I'll stop being so indecisive about him.

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The morning comes, bringing on sunshine, cloudless skies, and more indecisiveness. I text Deli and tell her we need to talk. She replies, 'Sure, I'm in my office.'

I take heavy steps towards her office, my mind upset that Jay isn't inside. He's on a damn deathbed.

"Good morning," she says.

"Yeah. Good morning."

She motions towards a chair. "Have a seat. What do you need me for?"

"How much do you know about me and Jay?"

"Honestly?" She licks her lips, a grin spreading across her face. "Almost everything. Jay told me what happened and how you slapped him, you crazy girl!"

"He deserved that."

She laughs. "Yeah, maybe. I just wanna tell you, he didn't mean to upset you. Ever. You practically broke his heart with your outburst."

"He broke mine too. Do you blame me?"

"Not really. I'd do the same. Or probably kill him."

I nod. "Exactly. Now, what do you think I should do?"

"No idea. I don't wanna get myself into the rebel stuff, I'm just helping, you know?"

"Yeah. But I know who already got himself into that, his father."

"Are you sure you want Timothy's advice?"

"I don't know what to do or who to trust."

"I understand." She nods. "I can give you the clearance to visit him."

"Really? I thought only Jay could do this."

"Nope, I can do anything I want in this dome."

I feel a twinge of unexplainable jealousy. "Jay trusts you with so much. I wonder why."

"We've been friends for way too long I can practically read his mind."

More jealousy. "Yeah, sounds perfect."

"Wasn't always like that. We used to hate each other in the past, but Martha forced us to team up for an economics project and we hit it off back then."

"Were you ever romantically involved with him?" The question flies off my lips before I could think it through. Stupid. My cheeks redden as she laughs.

"Not at all. Jay's not my type. Besides, I have a boyfriend. Tommy, remember him?"

I do remember Jay texting me to rescue him from Tommy's endless chatting. "Yeah, I remember."