Surprises {L.H.} [ON HOLD]

Chapter 15

*Harry*

Luke had just made his way up the stairs and I rushed into the living room and threw my clothes on. I ran out the front door and started walking down the sidewalk. I was so pissed. I can't believe I basically told Luke that I liked Kylie. I'm just hoping he doesn't realize that I'm actually in complete love with her. I have been for the longest time. Since I first saw her in eight grade. 

She was the cutest thing back then. Everyone was getting into dating people and I had wanted her.

**Flashback**

I was forcing myself to slow my breathing down. She was just a girl

'I mean, it's not like I haven't done this before' I tried to tell myself. But I know that she's going to be something special to me. I just know it. There's something about her. It's mesmerizing. 

I jumped up and down a few times before rushing over to her before I could talk myself out of it. She was standing at her locker with her friends and I could tell that their conversation was basically over. I was propped right behind where her locker door would open to. I took another deep breath before putting on my best 'lady killing' smirk and waited for her to notice me.

**End of Flashback**

I hadn't realized what had happened until I woke up in the nurses' office. She had hit my in the head with her locker door. And from that point on we had been inseparable.

That was until Luke.

I smiled at the memory. Remembering this made me realize that it may be time to let Kylie go. Let her fall in love without the burden of me being jealous sticking with her the whole time. She didn't deserve that. She deserved the best. And if she felt that I couldn't  be that for her, then I wouldn't be that for her.

(A/N From here until the end of the chapter it may be a sore spot if you are sensitive to depression or self harm. So if this will trigger something for you then please don't read it. Just please read the Author's note at he end if it is triggering for you.)

*Still Harry*

I had made it to my house and was sitting on the floor in my bathroom. Only left with my thoughts. Nobody was home. This was the worst possible time for me to be alone. But my parents didn't know that. Nobody knew that. Nobody knew that when I was alone, the demons took over. They taunted me and I could never do anything to stop them.

'Come on. One little cut won't do any harm' The ring leader said leading me to the razor that was conveniently placed of the bathroom counter. It always seemed convenient. But I didn't want to. I just wanted to call Kylie and let her fix me.

'NO! She doesn't love you! Why would you want her!? Why would she want you!?' It yelled at me. I let out a sob. He was right. Why would I do that. And with that in mind I grabbed the blade and went to my bath tub.

I took off my jeans before sitting myself in it.

I knew the drill.

I took the blade and gently place it onto my ankles  so nobody would see the cuts.

I knew the drill.

The demons chanted into my head.

'Cut! Cut! Cut!" They screamed at me. I pressed down harshly onto the metal and let it pierce my skin. I bit my lip to keep in the little sobs that continued to fall out of my mouth. They always got mad when I cried. So I kept it in.

I knew the drill.

I placed a few more tiny cuts around my ankle and then onto the next one.

I knew the drill.

Once I was finished I threw the blade out of my hands and starred down at my bleeding ankles in horror. But at least the demons were silenced. I reached forward and turned on the shower head. Cold water sputtered out of the head and I sat there in my T-Shirt and let my mind soak in what I had just done.

This always happens after I do it. I don't even know why I do it. It's like someone takes over my body. But I feel better after. And the demons always left. So I deal with it.

I turn off the water and go to my room and strip the rest of my clothes off before wrapping my ankles in gauze and climbing into my bed.

Not looking forward to the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow. This chapter made me sad. I didn't even know I was going to write that. But just a quick message.

Self harm is a serious topic and in my story Harry says how he feels like he doesn't have anyone. But if you self harm, I highly suggest you talk to someone. Not telling you to, just suggesting. And if you don't want to tell one of your friends or family members , then you can talk to me. Or someone else. It doesn't matter that much. I used to have thought of self harm, but I talked to someone. There is always someone you can talk to. So I just wanted to leave a little message saying you're not alone.

                                                                                                         Lots of Love,

                                                                                                            Keegan