Lose Myself: A Brittana Story

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(A/N: Suprise! A double update)

16 Years Old, Present time

I stand in front of my mirror and I take the six pills. It's supposed to be four in total, but it's better this way. Pain? It doesn't exist. No one knows I'm taking more than I'm supposed to, but does anyone really pay attention to me? Not really. Well, Santana does, but the pills are the only way I feel complete. I put on my Cheerios uniform, and I head down to the living room. My mom is laying on the couch. She's doing much better than she was the first two years after Dad died, but she's still not fully herself. She lost him. She lost a part of herself. And I lost my dad and a part of her. 

I walk out and  I see Santana standing in front of her car waiting for me. 

"Hey Britt-Britt," she says smirking

"Hey San," I say smiling back. She opens the passenger door for me to get in, and then she gets into her seat. 

I stare out the window and my thoughts become clouded. All the trees are flying by quicker than they should, and when I finally snap out of it, I realize Santana is calling me.

"Britt, did they change your prescription? You've been different these past few months," she says raising a brow

No, I've been different this past year.

"No, they didn't change the prescription I just have a lot on my mind," I say quietly

Liar. 

"Like what?" she asks 

"Uh, you know just some school stuff I..." I trail off again, my thoughts becoming clouded again

"Britt?" she asks frowning, before turning back to the road. 

"Huh?" I ask 

"I'm kinda worried. Are you sure this medicine is good for you?" she asks

"Yeah," I say smiling

No.

"I just have a lot on my mind, I'm sorry," I say

"No, don't apologize, it's ok. We all have those days," she says smiling

"San you're an amazing friend," I say 

"Always for you," she says smiling

We stay silent for the rest of the ride. When we get to school she goes to her class, and I stay outside. I don't feel like going to class. I hate class. 

While I'm outside I see Puck, leaning on the side of the building, flirting with some girl. I roll my eyes, and I start to walk away from the school, and to the Lima Bean. Coffee might help me think. Maybe.

I arrive at the shop and I order a caramel mocha. While I'm on line I feel like everyone's watching me. Whenever I turn, I feel pairs of eyes on me, but when I turn back absolutely no one is watching. I begin to panic and I dig through my bag. I pull out some of the behavioral pills and I swallow two more of them with my coffee. As soon as I swallow it I calm down, and my breathing slows. I make sure to finish my coffee and get back to school in time for second period. I have science class with Santana, and if I don't go she'll know I skipped again, and she'll try to get me to tell her why. 

I see her in the hall when I finally make it to school. 

"Hey Britt, how was math?" she asks smiling

"It was great," I say smiling

Stop lying Brittany.

"You ready to go? Science starts in a minute," she says