We're dancing and having fun. Valerie is one of those songs that you dance to with your friends, but with a safe distance between you and them. Santana is moving her hips to the beat, and I'm trying to mirror her exactly. It's a game we have. We know I'm a better dancer but she always wants to see if I can 'keep up' with her. She can dance really well, but I've been dancing for years.
The song comes to an end, and Blame It On The Alcohol comes on. Santana starts laughing and pulls me closer to her. Guess it's time for her touchy-feely stage. She turns around and begins grinding into me. At first, I play it off as her joking around, but then she starts rolling her hips into mines. She turns around, putting her back into my front, and dips low. Then she slowly, torturously brings herself up. I look around, and no one is paying attention. She begins grinding again and my breathing becomes shallow.
"C'mon Britt, don't just stand there, dance," she says smiling. I finally snap out of it, and I allow my hips to move with hers. Shes still grinding, and after a while, all of the alcohol I've had takes over and I begin to grind in sync with her. She seems surprised at first, but then we just continue to dance. At one point she turns back around and slips her leg in between mines, and it goes straight to my core. I back away from her, and put some space between us.
"I'm getting pretty tired San, can we head back to your house?" I ask.
"Yeah, sure Britt," she says
We both walk back to her house slowly. We are both clearly drunk, and we keep stumbling. We keep giggling on the way back, and we keep getting crazy looks from people walking. When we get to her house we go straight to her room. I take off my jacket, and she puts on more music, and she pulls me to her again. We begin to dance, without the grinding this time.
"I had a lot of fun tonight," I say
"Yeah me too. Who knew Puckerman could throw a party. All of his other ones were failures," she says laughing
"Haha, yeah," I say
We continue to dance, just having fun, until I feel a pair of soft plump lips on mines. My eyes widen, and Santana pushes closer to me. My head is spinning, and I'm really confused. Why is she kissing me? On instinct, I move my lips with hers, and she presses impossibly closer to me. The last time I kissed her she avoided me. She straight, so I just assume it's because she's drunk.
"Santana, what are you doing?" I ask pulling away
"Shhh," she says, pressing her lips back to mines
"San," I protest again
"What?" she asks breathlessly
"What are we doing?" I ask, my heart pounding faster than it ever has before
"Britt, I don't know," she says, and then starts laughing. She walks away from me for a few seconds, then struts back to me. Her eyes are darker, and she pushes her lips back onto mines. This time I don't resist, and I kiss her back. I don't know if it's the alcohol, but we both fully kiss each other. Not any of those fake kisses, but real kisses. At one point her tongue runs along my bottom lip, requesting access to the inside of my mouth, and I open my mouth. She aggressively slips her tongue in my mouth, and she struggles for dominance. After a while I let her take full control and her tongue is sliding over mines. She back me up to her bed, and climbs on top of me and I freeze. I roll from under her and catch my breath, while my heart starts hammering in my chest. I hear my breathing shift, and I see Santana looking at me with a confused look.
"Britt?" I hear her ask. I don't answer, I just focus on breathing. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I see her kneel in front of me and grab my face.
"Britt, breathe, breathe," she says quietly
I try to focus on my breathing, but that makes it worse. Santana lifts my head so I'm staring directly into her eyes, and she starts chanting to me.
"Breathe Britt. Just breathe," she says quieter. I focus on her words, and I take small breaths at first. When I finally have my breathing back to normal, she lets go of my face and sits next to me. I look over at her, and I see she's completely sobered up, and keeping a huge distance between us.
"Thanks, San," I say smiling
"Yeah, anytime Britt. Do you normally have problems breathing like that?" she asks me raising a brow
"Yeah," I choke out. I can't tell her the full truth, but I can at least tell her a little bit.
"I may have some old anxiety pills somewhere. They're my mom's. Do you need any?" she asks
I try to fight the voices in my head telling me to take them. No pills today. No pills today. I feel my hands start to get clammy and my vision blurs.
"Yes, please!" I almost shout, not able to stand it any longer. She looks confused, and then I try to calm myself down, and not seems too eager. She gets up and leaves the room, and I fully calm down. When she comes back with two pills in her hand and a glass of water I send her a small smile. I take the pills, and as soon as it hits my throat I feel much better. My heart rate slows, and my vision clears up. I didn't realize how terrible I felt today until just now.
Santana turns on her tv and puts on Pretty Little Liars. We kick off our shoes and sit with our backs against her headboard. We watch about 2 episodes before I close my eyes, an drift off to sleep.
YOU ARE READING
Lose Myself: A Brittana Story
RomanceA/U : You know what they say "You've got to lose yourself before you can move forward." Written in Brittany's POV, with occasional Santana POV's (Bad description, I know, but I didn't know what to write without revealing too much, so too bad) *Trig...
