Lose Myself: A Brittana Story

A Date?

I've been sitting outside of Breadstix for a while now. Santana thought it'd be best if we came here separately. Personally, I thought it would be less suspicious if we came here together, because we always go everywhere together.  I dig in my pocket and feel around for the small bag I put in there. It only has one pill in it. I want to keep a clear head for this. Because this is different than everything else we do. This could be the start to something. I pick up the one pill and I swallow it. It doesn't satisfy the ache in my stomach, but it'll just have to work. I see Santana's car pulling up, so I push myself off of the wall. She walks out of her car with a smile, and I see that she went exactly by what she said. She's dressed as she normally would be, so that this can stay a secret. Because even though I hate the secrecy of it, this is what we agreed on. She walks up to me and I take my place by her side. 

"Hey Britt" she says while opening the door for me to walk in 

"Hey" I smile, and for the first time in a while, it doesn't feel forced. 

"We should sit over there, where we normally sit" she points to the booth

We walk over there and sit down. It's a bit weird, because normally there's always someone sitting across from us, but not this time. Now it's just us. I take deep breaths with my eyes closed before I turn to her with another smile.

"This is...different," I say, my voice quiet 

"A good different?" 

"A great different" As I say that, I watch her eyes light up 

"Well then, lets hope it stays a good different" 

I pick up the two menus, and I hand one to her. She laughs as soon as I hand it to her. 

"What?" I ask with a smile 

"Britt, we order the same thing every time we come here, and you still always use the menu," 

"Well, maybe I wanted to change it up this time," I shrug 

"Oh, so you're gonna order something different?" 

I pretend to think while looking at the menu, and then I give up and start laughing 

"No, of course not" 

She shakes her head at me, and she has the biggest look of adoration in her eyes. It makes me think. That maybe, this can become something. Maybe we were meant for each other since that day I moved here. Maybe. 

The waitress comes over to our table, and we ask her for the usual. She walks away, and I feel bad, because Santana always threatens to get this lady fired. I'm broken out of the thoughts when I hear Santana sigh. I look up at her. 

"Britt I think I might be-" she looks down before she finishes her sentence 

"You think you might be... what?" 

"Nevermind, its- it was nothing" 

"Oh...ok?" 

She looks like she's about to speak again, when the waitress comes back with out drinks. She uses it as a distraction, and she sips her drink instead. I still don't know what she was going to say, so I try my best to ignore it and focus on what's going on right now. 

We get our food, and I don't know what people normally would talk about on dates, so we talk about everything we'd normally talk about. I catch myself staring at her a few times, but she either doesn't notice, or doesn't mind. By the end we're both laughing, and I feel happy. Happier than I've been in a while. We both walk out of the restaurant when we're done, and we get into her car. 

"I had a lot of fun tonight B," she says with a cheek bunching grin 

"I did too" 

"It just...felt to natural. I've never felt that good on a date before" she admits 

"Really?" 

"Yeah... you're different B" 

"A good different?"

"A great different" she smiles as she says the words I said earlier. 

She starts driving and I stare out of the window. I think of every part of the date, and I realize something. Not once did I think of any pills during the whole date. Maybe I don't need them? Maybe I convince myself that I need them? No, of course I need them. Of course I do.  

We get to my house, and we both get out of the car. 

"I had a great time tonight San" 

She nods, and walks closer to me. She presses a very quick kiss to my lips, and it catches me off guard. It doesn't last very long, because she pulls away quickly, but it was amazing. She looks around to make sure no one was around, and then she pulls me in for a hug. 

"Have a good sleep B," she says and then pulls away 

"Yeah you too" 

She waves, and I start the walk into my house. When I hear her car drive away, I go up to my room, and I think about everything. Maybe I have a chance at being happy. Just maybe.