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Wattpad News October 2020

First Month of Wattpad News

October 1, 2020, Thursday night

In the studios of Wattpad where Toothless and Charizard are the reporters of the show.

Toothless "Welcome to a special night where we review the things about the modern world and its effects on Wattpad."

Charizard "On Tuesday night, Donald Trump and Joe Biden had their debate but being part of a religion, I missed it and I honestly don't give a shit."

Toothless "Excuse me, what?"

Charizard "Now for some real news, Wattpad has decided to do the production of the famous story, Float, which is gonna star Robbie Amell. Float is written by Kate Marchant and here to comment is Kate Marchant's best friend in the whole wide world. Centra Otendchin."

Centra Otendchin "Hello! Hello, I'm her friend. Yes I am."

Charizard "Question, did I pronounce your last name correctly?"

Centra Otendchin "Remember center of attention. That's almost how you pronounce. Also, I invented that saying."

Charizard "Okay. Centra, can you tell us about Kate Marchant? Being her friend and all."

Centra Otendchin "We have been friends since birth. We go everywhere together. We used to be conjoined twins. Also, I invented the word conjoined. For the doctors and others who can now recognize them as conjoined twins."

Charizard "Umm... if you guys are twins, why different last names."

Centra Otendchin "Our mothers are conjoined twins so..... they gave birth to Kate Marchant and I so... two different fathers."

Charizard "That sounds impossible."

Centra Otendchin "You never watch House MD. Which is my idea first."

Charizard "Did you go to the same university as your 'twin'?"

Centra Otendchin "Of course, we're both interested in medical stuff. So we went to U of M."

Charizard "I thought she went to the University of Southern California?"

Centra Otendchin "She's lying. I'm telling the truth. Don't trust her. In fact, I invented truth. I'm the only truthful gal in the world."

Charizard "Ummm.... have you read her book?"

Centra Otendchin "Yes and let me say, she stole the idea from me. Just like David Shore, Dick Wolf, JJ Adams, basically everyone in Hollywood. Everyone since God made this Earth has been stealing my ideas."

Charizard "I don't think so.........."

Centra Otendchin "I invented you."

Charizard "No You Didn't! Satoshi Tajiri did."

Centra Otendchin "He's a liar too, everyone is."

Charizard "You can't just claim every idea out there."

Centra Otendchin "Who's gonna stop me?"

Charizard "Hollywood FBI."

Centra Otendchin "I invented that too. And the real one."

Charizard tries not to laugh.

Charizard "That's all the time we have.."

Centra Otendchin "I invented time. I invented Fanfiction, original fiction. Wattpad as well."

Charizard "Can you say something meaningful, that impacts the lives out there and isn't something you invented."

Centra Otendchin "Yes actually. Kate Marchant, Robbie Amell was in my elementary school. I don't care how good your story is, which I thought of first after I thought of Star Wars first, you'll never get a chance to see him in your elementary school."

Charizard "I doubt that he did and I also doubt that you made up Star Wars since you don't look that old."

Centra Otendchin "Are you calling me a liar?! Babe, why?! I fuck you and this is the thanks I get."

Charizard "This Is The First Time We Met!"

Centra Otendchin "We're breaking up."

Charizard "But...."

He laughs a bit.

Charizard "Centra Otendchin everyone."

Centra Otendchin "I discovered America before Columbus, I made all of you, I made God, good day to all."

She leaves.

Charizard "Okay, let's check in with the weather, Simba."

Simba "2020 October is colder than other October's. Wildfires migrate to California for who knows how many times. We stopped talking about hurricanes because nothing dramatic happened for the first time of this year. Snow in the mountains. Like, what do you want from me? I'm only new here. I don't even like reportering on the weather. I wanted to be the cameraman and film reporters get hurt in action. THIS IS NOT WHAT I ENVISION WHEN I SAID I WANNA BE A WEATHERMAN!!!"

Toothless "Thanks Simba. We're going live with the political side of Wattpad, Shira."

Shira "People are pressuring Wattpad and trying to get the bill passed for the Wattpad SexWorld account. Why the hell am I reporting to this? Is this a punishment for me and Diego having sex in the bathroom or something?"

Toothless "Thanks ShirAh!"

He turns over and holds in a laugh.

Charizard "We have a Umm... new subject for the news of Wattpad... improper use of the power. People who report or try to dehumanize another because of kinks, furry, lgbt, religion, race, age, and a few others and they're getting away with this. There are some protesters who are going against Wattpad because they should look into it and investigate whether the accusations are true or not. Dog of Trump has said these things and people actually agree. Conspiracists believe that some people are giving Dog of Trump money and telling her to stop going on Trump's bald head. A quote from one conspiracist said "We need to see it. We know you're bald.""

Toothless "In other news, red onions grown in California have been traced as the potential source of a salmonella outbreak that has infected more than 500 people in the United States and Canada, health officials said. Confirmed cases have surfaced in 34 states. Those were the last reports. Copy and paste from CNN. Don't worry, no ads. A salmonella outbreak caused by onions is expanding and has infected 640 people from 43 states. At least 85 of them have been hospitalized, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said. "If you don't know where your onions are from, don't eat, serve, or sell them or any food prepared with them," the CDC said Friday. The Food and Drug Administration has warned consumers not to eat onions from Thomson International Inc. The advice applies to red, white, yellow, and sweet onions.

Some of the onions were sold at stores including Walmart, Kroger, Fred Meyer, Publix, Giant Eagle, Food Lion, and H-E-B, under a variety of brand names, the CDC said.

Several companies have recalled onions and foods made with recalled onions like chicken salad, macaroni salad, fajita stir-fry, pizza and diced raw onions, including Taylor Farms and Giant Eagle. The CDC said people should check their homes for the recalled products and throw away the affected items. close dialog Covid-19 Your local resource. Set your location and log in to find local resources and information on Covid-19 in your area. Set Location digital health image "Do not eat them or try to cook the onions or other food to make it safe," the CDC said. Signs of salmonella infection include diarrhea, fever and stomach cramps between six hours and six days after exposure to the bacteria. Those under age 5, those over 65 and people with weakened immune systems are more likely to experience severe illness. In some cases, the infection can spread from the intestines to other parts of the body and require hospitalization. So great, Mother Nature is giving us two pandemics. WHY DONT YA JUST FUCKING KILL US BITCH?!!! YOUR FORCING US TO NOT EAT ONIONS!! FUCK YOURSELF BITCH!!! FUCK YOU NIGGA!!!"

Charizard "Woah, chill Toothless."

Toothless "I WILL NOT CHILL UNTIL WE FIND THIS MOTHERFUCKING BITCH AND FUCKING KILL HER!!"

Charizard "We're gonna go to an ad. I'm Charizard, this piss black dragon is Toothless, and this is Wattpad News."