Marvel in Quarantine

The MCU Karaoke Battle Pt. 1

Triggers: None. Ships: Pepperony, Stucky, Jane x Thor. Characters: The MCU!

"Ladies, gents, and the rest of you lovely Zoom folk," a peppy voice piped up. "It's me, Darcy, and my besties Jane Foster and Erik Selvig! And today, since we all refused to sing but are pretty upbeat and hella harsh but not too harsh judges...I'm rambling again, aren't I?" With that, she looked over to her side at Jane and Erik, Erik who was facepalming, and Jane who rushed to speak up.

"What Darcy is trying to say is...we are judging the Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, and more... the first-ever...karaoke battle! Now, since it's over Zoom, we had to change some things up, so the teams are just people who live together. Now, we have duets and solos, and maybe even a couple of trios, quartets, five-tetios...wait what? Anyway it'll be good!"

"So," Erik continued tiredly, already preparing for a headache. "Please give it up for our first team, the Quill Quartet!"

On speaker view, Peter Quill's Zoom screen unmuted and the viewers were met with a black screen. Everyone was confused and skeptical, especially Clint and Tony because, well, they're Clint and Tony. Gamora, Nebula, Rocket, and Yondu already had second-hand embarrassment. They weren't participating because they said it was stupid, but they had still tuned in on Gamora's Zoom. 

Within a few seconds, smoke filled the screen. The lights flashed on, revealing... Peter, Drax, Mantis, and Groot in matching neon Jazzercise outfits.

"Sweet Jesus," Erik mumbled into his hands, which were covering his face. Darcy and Jane just laughed their heads off.

Once the lights were fully on, the opening chords of I Wanna Dance with Somebody began to play. Peter and Harley were already dancing, Morgan and Cassie, Scott Lang's daughter, were nodding to the beat, and Lila, Cooper, and Nathaniel, Clint's kids, were cringing. 

"Ohhhhh I wanna dance with somebody, I wanna feel the heeeaaaaat with some somebody! Yeahhhh, I wanna dance with someboday, with somebody whooo lovess meeeeeeee!" Peter sang loudly but at least on the right pitches, while Mantis was horribly off key, Drax laughed obnoxiously, and Groot just said I am Groot for all of the lyrics. There was choreography featuring all the best 80s dance moves, and at the end were the scores. Darcy held up a 9, Jane held up a 7, and Erik gave them a 5. Peter flipped him off.

Next up were Carol Danvers and Nick Fury doing I Want it That Way. Maria Hill was all ready to videotape, definitely going to save it to lord over both of them. They were both in full on 90s grunge, and Fury was even wearing flannel. "You arrrrre my fireeeee, my oneeee desireeee, believe meeee when I sayyyy, I want it thaaat waaaaaayyyyy!" Carol and Fury both ended with their arms out like the Backstreet Boys. Darcy gave them an 8, Jane gave them an 8, and Erik gave them a 3. The 90s were a time he really did not want to remember. Fury threatened to send a SHIELD team after him. Erik just shrugged tiredly and said he was gonna die pants-less and that was fine with him. 

Then, to everyone's shock and delight, Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton appeared on screen in full-on early 2000s makeup and their Black Widow and Hawkeye suits dyed bright blue. It was only with the intro to the song, which had Peter, Harley, and the rest of the kids howling, that they realized. "With a taaaste of your lips, I'm on a riiiiiide. You're toxic, I'm slippin' underrr!" They were even better than Britney Spears! They got a standing ovation after their final glares to the audience from everyone except the Barton kids, because they were very embarassed of their dad. Darcy gave them a 10, Jane gave them a 9, and Erik gave them a 7. He was terrified Nat would kill him if he gave anything lower.

Next up, Tony Stark and James Rhodes brought them all back to the 80s. They asked Bruce Banner to sing with them, but he was worried their stupidness and the stress of performing would make him Hulk out, so he politely passed. Really, he just didn't want to make a fool of himself like Tony and Rhodey were undoubtably about to do. Wearing clothes inspired by AC/DC, it was no surprise that they brought out electric guitars for their song. What was a surprise, though, was that they both knew how to play AC/DC, specifically Back in Black. From the opening electric guitar, Tony and Rhodey started screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs, strumming along. "Back in black! I hit the sack! I've been gone too looonngg, I'm glaaad to be back!" They finished in the splits, or about how far they could go, which really wasn't that far. The Avengers were losing it, especially Bruce because oh my god Tones. Darcy gave them an 8, Jane gave them an 8, and Erik gave them a 4. Stark always got on his nerves. Tony very artistically cussed him out until Erik rolled his eyes and muted Tony's Zoom. Darcy and Jane tried not to laugh.

The one and only Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes attempted to sing an old 40s song decked out in their WW2 uniforms, but they were quickly shut down by the iconic Sam Wilson, who lept up and started spitting late 90s and early 2000s rap at an ungodly speed, with a gold dollar chain around his neck. He dropped the mike at the end in an appalled Steve and Bucky's faces, and the whole group got a 7 from Darcy, a 7 from Jane, and a 9 from Erik. What, he thought the rapping was impressive!

Totally killing it, Thor, Loki, Sif, Fandral, Hogan, and Volstagg swaggered up to the screen, in full on Asgardian armor paired with black Midgard sunglasses and neon crocs. Korg and Miek even took a break from gaming to be there, smiling like proud moms. The six Asgardians named their group Lady Sif, Two Godly Attractively Unstable Brothers, and the Warriors Three. They prepared to sing Wannabe! Sif was Scary Spice (because she's a terrifying badass of course), Volstagg was Ginger Spice (he's a rocking redhead baby), Fandral was Posh Spice (he cares way too much about his hair), and Hogun was Sporty Spice (he's the general and leader of the Asgardian army, duh). Thor and Loki, however, were both dressed as Baby Spice, because they both wanted to be her and could not decide. "Ohhh, tell me what ya want, what you really really wannnt. I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really wannnt! I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really I wanna zig a zig ahhhhh!" Tony took lots of pictures and told FRIDAY to save them to the Point Break: Blackmail Folder. The Stark kids choked. In the end, after some...interesting vocals (Loki and Sif were the only ones who could actually sing), Darcy held up a 9, Jane held up a 10, and Erik held up a 10. What, they were obviously biased!

"Okay guys," Darcy chuckled, laughing with Jane who was red-faced and recording everything. "Let's take a quick break."

"We will return after a short intermission, and then it's karaoke away!" Jane exclaimed gleefully.

"Not too short please," Erik muttered, rubbing his temples. Everyone just laughed.

"Oh, they are so not ready for us," Shuri excitedly but also a little creepily whispered to T'Challa, who looked mildly afraid of his little sister.

Quick message: For those of you who don't know, Chadwick Boseman unfortunately passed away a little while ago from colon cancer. RIP Black Panther--you will always be remembered and loved. <3