Marvel in Quarantine

Loki and Peter P: Star Wars Pt. 2

Requested by the_june_bug_

Triggers: Mild alochol references. Ships: Valcarol. Characters: Peter Parker, Loki, Thor, Valkyrie, Carol Danvers, Tony Stark, Aunt May, Ned Leeds.

"Man," Peter Parker gasped, ducking under a flaming log. "These dudes are really not cool Mr. Loki!"

"Yes, Spiderling, why do you think I required assistance?" Loki rolled his eyes as he punched the guy who threw said burning log.

"Hey! Less whining, more fighting!" Valkyrie snapped as she and her pegasus soared towards the group of Asgardians who were throwing flaming trees and branches.

"I don't understand," Thor said as he chucked Stormbreaker at them. "Why are my subjects so angry?"

"Oh they're not," Carol Danvers replied, flying through the air with buckets of water she dumped on their heads. "At least, most of them aren't. Your little bro just managed to royally piss them off."

"Shut it Flighty Lighty," Loki grumbled as he managed to capture half of the angry mob with Peter's webs help.

"Hey! Watch your mouth when you talk about my girlfriend or I'm gonna kick your ass, Lucky."

Peter and Thor giggled. Much to Loki's dismay, the two had told Val and Carol about how May had accidentally called the murderous God...Lucky.

"So basically," Carol continued, watching from above as her girlfriend and Thor rounded up the remaining angry citizens. "Loki and I were gambling at this Asgardian pub--speaking of which, the beer is amazing here--"

"I know right," Thor and Valkyrie both said.

"And we got the others drunk. While I was playing fairly, Loki hid like twenty aces up his emo black-and-green jumpsuit--" Loki sputtered furiously while Peter lost it. "--and gloriously cheated and stole all their money. They woke up the next day, and since Asgardians are apparently definitely not lightweights, they remembered and demanded the God of Mischief give it back. Surprise surprise, Lucky didn't, and now they're mad. So yeah, if anything, it's your brother's fault."

"I hate you," Loki muttered with a look that could kill, as Thor crossed his arms and gave his brother a disaproving stare.

"Alright, citizens, you are free to go. Please go to Lady Sif and the Warriors Three." They waved, having just arrived, and also glared freely at Loki, who laughed awkwardly and gave a little salute. "They will provide you with your money that was, um, misplaced. Thank you and good day Asgardians!" Still grumbling angrily, the mob threw down their now damp wood and formed a line to get money from Thor's best friends.

"You know brother," Thor began, throwing an arm around Loki. "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

"Shut up Thor."

--

After being brought back to Earth by the Bifrost, courtesy of Thor and Stormbreaker, they were met by a very amused Aunt May, a very angry Tony Stark, and a very confused Ned Leeds.

"Ned!" Peter exclaimed joyfully, running to elbow bump his best friend. Ned was too busy to notice as he looked up in awe at the literal Gods before him.

"T-Thor! It's an honor sir. And Captain Marvel! You're a legend. Totally my favorite," She winked and smiled at him. "Oh, Valkyrie! You're so badass." She smirked and nodded, fistbumping her girlfriend. "And--Loki. Oh jeez, Peter is he gonna kill us?!" Ned yelped and cowered behind Peter in his Spider-Man suit. 

Peter laughed. "Nah, Loki is all bark and no bite. Speaking of which, now that the bad guys are taken care of--" 

"They weren't really bad were they?"

"--Let's go watch Empire Strikes Back! Loki joined our Star Wars club!" There was a ringing silence after this, broken by Ned.

"Dude! Really?! Oh my gosh, Mr. Loki sir, it is an honor, a great honor, to be in the presence of another devoted Star Wars fan. So, who's the hottest: Padmé, Leia, or Rey?" Everyone in the room choked.

"He hasn't gotten that far, Ned. He's only seen Episode IV!"

"Wait, sorry," Loki said, raising a hand. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you said this New Hope was the first movie in the Wars of Star!"

"Well it's not..." Ned started.

"But you need to watch it in the order it was released, at least the first time you see the nine movies," Peter finished.

"N-nine?" Loki stammered. "Well, all right I supposed. As long as they have the God of Sith, Vaderson in them." Peter and Ned laughed and led him into the living room to go watch Episode V.

"Hold on one damned second!" Tony shouted, and the three of them froze. "Loki, why the hell did you steal Underoos for some secret off-world mission? And Thor, why did you let him?!"

"I told him to let it go," May sighed, shaking her head. 

"Men, am I right?" Valkyrie said as she chugged May's good Vodka. May exclaimed and tried to take the bottle back. But then Carol snatched it and calmly finished it, humming All Star offhand. 

"Uh, Mr. Stark?" He looked up, worry in his eyes, at Peter. "I know you're just looking out for me, but...I'm older now. You trained me so well!" Tony laughed and nodded at that, tugging at his Spider-Man mask. Ned was wearing a Star Wars logo one.

"And, Mr. Stark? If I ever need you, as Iron Man or not, I'll call you. Always."

"Thanks bud."

The two smiled at each other, wishing more than anything that they could hug. May sniffled through her 'World's Best Aunt' mask, and looked to find Val and Carol. Little did she know they were making out in the corner.

"Hey! You guys shouldn't do that right now, coronavirus remember?!" May exclaimed, aghast.

"Bro. Val is literally a God, and I'm pretty strong. We can't catch your cold thing, relax." Carol replied.

"Right, Thor, Carol and I are off to take this somewhere more private. The Bifrost, if you will?" Thor rolled his eyes, mumbling about PDA, and sent them back to Asgard. 

"I'll be here, chatting with Stark and May. Have fun kids!" Thor said gleefully as Peter and Ned, chattering excitedly, marched Loki into the movie room. Peter took off his suit and wore an Iron Man mask, much to Tony's delight.

"My God! Why is it so cold now!" 

"Oh yeah, that's Hoth."