Marvel in Quarantine

Loki and Peter P: Star Wars Pt. 1

Triggers: None. Ships: None. Characters: Peter Parker, Loki, Thor, Aunt May, Tony Stark.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT STAR WARS IS?!" Peter Parker exclaimed like it was the worst thing he'd heard in his entire life. And let's face it, it probably was. 

"Okay now hun," Aunt May said with a smile. "You don't want to scare the Lord of Mischief!" 

"God," Loki corrected quickly. "It's God of mischief. And Loki, the rightful king of Jotenheim, Prince of Asgard, Odinson, mastermind, the greatest leader to ever live, doesn't get scared."

It was at that point that Thor crept up behind the three of them, tiptoed with a finger on his lips behind his little brother (Peter tried very hard not to giggle and still kinda failed), and grabbed Loki and screamed "BOO!" Loki yelped like a puppy, jumping a foot into the air. Peter, May, and Thor all burst out laughing, while Loki gave them a withering stare. 

"Your shenanigans remain as useless as ever," Loki declared over their laughter. "I simply pretended to be afraid so as not to hurt your feeble feelings." Thor just nodded, gave him a thumbs-up, and lost it laughing again. 

"So, um," May said, wiping away a tear. "The, uh, Gods came here for a favor. Well, really, Lucky needs the favor."

"Loki!" he exclaimed as Thor and Peter started howling. "My name is Loki! And yes, I need...assistance. There is some...trouble on Asgard, that may or may not be a mild effect of some interesting decisions I might have had a hand in performing." 

"He means it's his fault," Thor interjected. "So I told him I'm not helping."

"Like I was saying," Loki continued with a glare at him. "My brother informed me of a...child with certain...gifts. Powerful, cunning, strong, like me. The only one on Midgard who doesn't have...pre-conceived notions toward me."

Thor muttered "He's the only one you didn't try to kill, and so he's the only one who won't try to kill you." May's eyes widened, and Loki stared daggers at Thor, and then smiled charmingly at May. She didn't look amused.

"So, Spider-Child," Loki declared. "Will you help me in ridding Asgard of the disgraceful, disgusting, dirty buffoons who are trying to smite it?" Thor and May looked to Peter uncertainly.

"Uhhh sure," Peter said with a shrug. "I'll help you defeat the bad guys. But first, as my uh price let's call it, I'm making you watch a movie with me!" All three of the other just stared at him for a second, open-mouthed. 

Loki turned red-faced, and said "I don't see how that is important, but fine. I will observe this...move vee with the Spiderling. And then to Asgard we must depart! Brother, wait with the lovely woman--" he winked at May, who just shook her head. "--until we finish and have need of the Bifrost. Adieu, and farewell." He bowed, and followed Peter into the living room. 

May and Thor waited for the door to shut, and then turned to each other. "He's going to make him watch Star Wars." 

"He's going to make him watch Star Wars."

---

Loki and Peter emerged from the living room a couple hours later, having just finished Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Loki was ecstatically ranting about his favorite characters, while Peter excitedly corrected and fangirled with him.

"Oh my God! That Skywalkerson, Lucien, my God! He was incredible!" 

"Luke Skywalker, and yeah I know! He's my favorite Jedi."

"And the God of Sith, Vaderson, so evil! So inspiring, er, I mean terribly bad!"

"Uhhh huhhh. And Darth Vader, he's a Sith lord. Just you wait until you learn the truth about him!"

"The Leia, she reminded me of my mother, Frigga, you know. An amazing lady, truly the best queen in history."

"Awe, she sounds amazing! Leia is a total badass, she's definitely the best fictional princess ever."

"The Oberon Wonson, though, I don't particularly like him. I love the lightslayers though! Where can I obtain one?"

"Obi-Won Kenobi, and yeah not everyone likes him. As for the lightsabers, not slayers, they're not real dude. Sorry. Otherwise I would definitely have one by now. Actually that gives me an idea..."

As they entered the kitchen where Thor and May sat, chatting and sipping Martinis (they bonded a lot), Peter and Loki were both thinking about how they would make their own lightsabers. Peter thought he would go visit Mr. Stark and build it with him, though he was determined to do most of the work himself. And Loki thought he would use his illusion tech to create one with magic, and it would become his new weapon. Or party trick. Or both. 

"How was the movie, guys?" May asked with a smile, holding out Peter's Spider-Man suit. 

He smiled and said "It was awesome! Mr. Loki loved it. Now we can both geek out about it together! He can join me and Ned's Star Wars nerds group." He hugged May, who kissed his cheek, and dashed into his room to change. Loki blinked a couple times, very confused.

"Alright, brother, you ready to go?" Thor asked, clapping him on the shoulder. He had Stormbreaker at the ready, about to summon the Bifrost.

"Wait!" May exclaimed, looking at the duo. They raised their eyebrows. "You guys don't have coronavirus, right? Because we didn't social distance, or wear masks...!"

"Um, no," Thor said with a giggle. "We're not human. We can't get it or transmit it. You Midgardians are safe. Good luck with the whole plague thing anyway!"

"It's not a plague, it's--oh never mind." May said as Peter walked out as Spider-Man.

"Here," Loki said, handing him one of his daggers. May and Thor exchanged a look. "It is always best to be prepared."

"Wow, thanks Mr. Loki! I'll take good care of it. Now let's go kick some alien butt, woohoo! The force is strong in us, young Padawan!" Peter shouted with a smile, standing next to Thor. May waved goodbye, and Thor started to raise Stormbreaker. Loki just gave Peter a bemused look and then a small grin. The kid was starting to grow on him.

With a flash of rainbow light, the three of them vanished. May exhaled in a big sigh, finishing her Martini in a chug. Then, she pulled out her phone, and dialed a certain Tony Stark.

"Hey May, what's up?"

"Just thought I'd let you know Peter's off world on a mission."

"What, why! And how come Underoos didn't ask for help?"

"Oh, don't worry, he's not alone." May stifled a giggle.

"Wait, who's with the kid?"

"Thor! And...Loki."

"WHAT?!" Tony screamed and had a mini heart attack. May burst out laughing, but stopped abrubtly as she heard the sound of the Iron Man repulsors firing up. 

She face-palmed, sighed, and called Thor.

"Heads up, you're about to get some company...!"