Her Light

XIII

It's weird, that's what Camila decides.

Changing with her back facing the rest of the girls in the cabin, Camila pulls her baggy shirt over her bare torso. She turns her body so she can see behind her. Lauren and Normani are sat on Ally's bed with Ally, all discussing something boringly important.

Since Dinah is out sailing tonight, Camila was going to bed a bit earlier instead of staying up and chatting. Usually she chats with the rest when Dinah is up to bother and be bothered in return. Camila is surprised in the friend she's found in Dinah—her being one of her closest friends onboard, besides Lauren, of course. Besides, Dinah feels more like a friend where Lauren feels like a...

She's not sure. And that's what is weird.

Ever since everything with Lucy and San Francisco three days ago, Camila has been picking up on little things she hasn't before. And then testing them to see if they're consistent. Like every time Camila gets a little too close to Lauren's face, her cheeks flush. It was an interesting observation when Camila first discovered it—obviously already too close to her face when she saw it.

Another one—arguably the most unnerving one—is Camila can't fall asleep when their faces are too close. After sharing a bed at Lucy's, both girls decided to share the bed in the cabin like normal people, laying vertically together. But there's only one pillow, so sometimes Lauren's head slumps forward and it's awfully close for Camila's liking.

But the most recent discovery was the hardest to put together. She's been observing everyone on the ship since the evening Lauren and her discussed Lauren's Floridian upbringing, because something about the way Camila saw her in that fleeting instance was not normal.

So when in discussion with Dinah, Normani, or Ally, Camila will pay close attention to how they're looking at her. But none of them share the same dilated gaze Lauren adopts when Camila's in view.

Camila notices the way Lauren looks at her now; it became sickeningly obvious after leaving Lucy's. Lucy looked at her the same way—low, gentle, admiring eyes.

But Camila cannot figure out why. Why is it the same gaze? Does Lauren look at everyone like that? Is Camila reading too far into it?

Being left with no other options is how Camila finds herself here, glancing over at the chatting women on the bed.

She's hoping to snag Lauren's attention and to actually see her expression change in real time to prove her theory. Staring patiently, Camila crawls onto her and Lauren's bed, sitting with her legs crossed.

Normani is the one to meet her gaze first, raising her eyebrows in confusion and then whacking Lauren's arm to point at Camila. Shifting her body to see Camila around Ally, Lauren smiles shyly with a little wave.

Camila doesn't interact back, she just flops down onto the pillow and stares at the ceiling to contemplate.

Lauren's expression didn't really change, but it definitely wasn't the same way it was seconds before when talking to Normani and Ally. Camila can't count this as solid evidence.

It makes her uneasy, to say the least. Camila likes to know how other people are feeling around her and especially how she herself is feeling. But recently, it's been kind of fuzzy and this is the best way she knows how to cope with it. Trying to piece together some kind of tangible answer and solution.