The blue swirl of hyperspace mimicked the state of Rey's mind as she sat in the co-pilot's chair of the Millenium Falcon. Controlling the ship beside her was Ben, though she had to admit he was doing most of the work on his own. She was too dazed and distracted to be of much use to him. Still, he kept a hand gently on her thigh for reassurance as they began their trek to Crait to meet back up with the Resistance. They both held an emptiness in their hearts; they knew when they landed the ship, one very important person would not be there. Rey couldn't help but feel guilty for Leia's death. It was her fault she let Palpatine take control of her mind. It was her fault that she had weakened Ben to the point of no return. It was her fault that she had to give her life to save her son's. Almost as if he could feel the guilt, Ben gently squeezed her thigh.
"Hey, everything is going to be fine." He murmured as he pushed the button for the autopilot, swiveling his chair to face her. Rey shook her head, rubbing her face in her hands. "It's not. This is all my fault. You should hate me." She mumbled. Ben's forehead crinkled as he pulled his brows together. "I don't hate you or blame you. No one does. They all miss you and know what happened. You couldn't control Palpatine. No one can." Rey shook her head again. "I killed him. I should have listened to you, I should have listened to Finn. I never should have gone to the Death Star alone. None of this would have happened!" Her voice grew in her own frustration as she lifted her eyes to face Ben's softened and hurt ones. "Ben wait I didn't mean that..." She whispered after seeing the pain in his eyes.
Ben tried to mask his hurt. If she never went to the Death Star, they would both be on very different paths right now. Ben would still be Kylo Ren. Maybe he would have been the leader of the Final Order. He would have never tasted freedom or felt Rey's lips on his own; he would have never known what love truly feels like. He understood what she meant, but a part of him felt rejected and hurt. "It's fine." He said dismissively, turning his attention back to piloting the ship.
Rey's brows swooped up in concern as she watched his jaw tick and the veins of his hands become more pronounced as he held the wheel of the ship. An uncomfortable silence fell between them, the tension thick in the air. "I didn't mean it like that Ben. I just meant... well, if I hadn't gone off alone things would be much simpler. Leia would still be alive." Ben's eyes snapped to her intensely. "You don't know that." He snapped, feeling his anger rise both at himself and at the rush of emotion he felt. He let out a breath and silenced himself for a minute to calm down. "If you hadn't gone to the Death Star and left with me, we could be in a very different place right now. Maybe Leia wouldn't have died in the way she did, but she may still be dead.
"I don't think you realize what you did to me that day. You joining me was the first push to the Light even if we both didn't know it." Ben paused as he watched Rey's eyes brighten with flattery. "If you would have dismissed me, if you would have left me on Zuffarim, call me a monster after you saw my past, that would have been it. I would have been irredeemable. If you didn't show me that I wasn't a killer, an evil and cruel person meant for only destruction and tyranny, I would have given into Palpatine. But unlike you there would not have been a chance of saving me. If you didn't come to the Death Star, I would have killed her. I would have killed all of the Resistance, I would have killed you."
Rey felt the weight of his words. Ever since she first saw the face under the mask, she knew he was different. He was a young man, manipulated and used for the power he himself did not understand. He was used by the notion of his own family. She couldn't imagine growing up with parents as respected and well known as his. His entire family had been at the forefront of the galaxy for generations. He had more weight on his shoulders than any kid should ever have. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Ben. You made this change by yourself." She murmured, only to feel the slightly rough skin of his hands along her jaw as he gently tipped her head to look at him. "No, I didn't do it alone." He whispered.
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Star Wars Episode IX: Duel of the Fates
Fanfiction(AU) Luke is gone. Kylo Ren is the new Supreme Leader. The Resistance is all but decimated. Now, all responsibility falls on Rey to balance the Force and bring an end to this war. But as a relatively untrained Jedi, she will not be able to find bala...
