I'm not her anymore // trans remus au // wolfstar

5)) nice Slytherins

TW: slurs (censored because 1. I don't want to hurt anyone and 2. because I don't have a right to/don't feel comfortable to reclaim these slurs for myself), deadnaming and misgendering, swearing (again censored)

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Remus knew he wouldn't have an easy trip back to the Gryffindor Tower, not when everyone is preparing to go home for the Christmas holidays, but he wasn't expecting the assault of slurs and abuse that was hurled his way as he walked through the hallways with Lily and Sirius at his side.

A soft "d**e," came from the mouth of a Ravenclaw, walking in the opposite direction from the trio. Sirius looked ready to fight but said Ravenclaw had already managed to get lost in the crowds of people wandering around the castle.

A group of Hufflepuffs hiding in a corner whispered things that only Remus and his wolf senses could hear. He was hurt by what they said but didn't want to make a big deal out of it, He didn't need Sirius to get in trouble on the last day of term.

A Slytherin, who probably was one of Sirius' cousins  but none of the three were really sure, yelled from the top of a staircase "Is that Emily Lupin? God, she looks like she's trying to be a boy! F*cking tr***y!"

This time both Sirius and Lily looked ready to pound someone into the stone floor but Remus just kept walking and they, knowing he didn't like having attention drawn to him, followed him. All three were angry at everyone in the corridor, why the f*ck can't someone just cut their hair without getting bullied by the entire student body for it?

They were almost back at the door to Gryffindor tower when the sixth year whose hair style Remus had sort of copied stopped them.

"I love your haircut. Also I heard people giving you sh*t for it in the halls, they tend to do that with big changes like this, you'll get through it though."

Remus thanked her and told her that it was Lily and Sirius who had actually done the hair cutting.

"Well, they did a good job, you look great."

She then left, and the hints of green that had been on her uniform since the start became apparent to the trio.

"Wow, guess there are some nice Slytherins," Sirius commented as the group continued on their walk back to the Gryffindor tower, ignoring the verbal abuse falling upon them like rain on the roof of the castle. A soft pitter-patter of hatred, incessant but possible to ignore if you try hard enough. 

Soon the three had arrived at the portrait hole and given the password to enter. None of them were prepared for what happened next.

No one said anything outright to Remus, nor did they say anything to Lily or Sirius. But the judging looks said more than words ever could. People that Remus had only seen in passing and around the common room whispered about him behind their hands. The three made their way towards the dorms but Sirius had to stop there as "only girls" are allowed up the stairs into that side of the dormitories.

A quick kiss between the boys then Sirius went to the boys dorms to see how James and Peter were going with packing to go home, since he was staying at the castle over the holidays.

Lily and Remus entered their room to find a mess that looked like a small explosion had happened in the room.

"What the-?" Remus said, confusion evident and written all across his face.

Just then a head popped up in the mess, followed by 2 more. 

"Oh, hi," Alice said, emerging from the pile of clothes in the centre of the room. The toilet flushed and Mary exited the bathroom, taking in the mountain of fabric and Remus' hair all in one glance.

"Oh my God, Emi, I love your hair!" She exclaimed, her own hair was a shade of pale purple currently, though it would almost certainly be something entirely different by the end of the holidays.

Marlene gasped and walked over to run her hands through it. "It's so short," she said, stating the obvious.

"Well Em, it looks good," Dorcas added, "but you might want to pack your stuff if you're going home for Christmas."

"And I see you're all doing well with that," Lily retorted, gesturing at the clothing heap that took up most of the floor.

A couple of hours later everyone that was going home had packed their trunks and the pile of clothes was no more. There was only one hour left before everyone leaving for the train would have to set off to get there so the group headed out to the common room with their trunks.

The sun was nearly all the way down by the time the scarlet steam engine set off from Hogsmeade railway station. Remus had found a compartment and had been joined by James and Peter a short while after. Remus did his best to ignore them, not knowing if they were going to address the obvious elephant in the room.

"Remus," Peter started. Remus looked up from his book, if they used the right name then maybe this would all turn out okay. "I just want to apologise for the other day, by the lake. I should have realised that just because I don't understand something, doesn't mean hat it's not real. I hope you can forgive me for what I said that day."

Before Remus could fully process that James chimed in. "I should have been a better friend back there and supported you immediately. What kind of person hesitates and questions whether to support their friend when they tell them a big secret?"

"I-I'm honestly so relieved to hear you both say that. I was worried that you, I don't know, hated me or something." Small tears pricked at Remus' eyes, threatening to spill over if he kept on with the feelings.

"We both have a lot to learn still though, do you think you could teach us some stuff while we're here on the train?"

The waning gibbous moon shone brightly onto the platform, illuminating the waiting parents as the train pulled in to Kings Cross five hours later.

The boys grabbed their trunks from the racks above their heads, still making light-hearted jokes about each other. Stepping out onto the platform, Remus saw his parents but walked with the other two for a little longer, just until he was close enough for James' parents to wish him a Merry Christmas and for him to respond with the same. Then he made his way towards the people he was dreading seeing. His parents.

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I'd like to thank everyone who has commented and voted on this story so far. You guys are the motivation for me to finish writing these chapters and put them out there into the void of the internet. I appreciate all of you so much.