Where I Am Without You [L.S]

Chapter Five

He hadn't noticed the two dogs, which he still didn't know the names of, lying in two big, fluffy beds to his left. As he turns to face them, the black one raises its head, tail softly thudding against the floor as he wags it. Harry steps off the chair and makes his way to the two dogs, because if there's one thing he absolutely loves, it's animals. He might be more of a cat person, but that didn't mean he could resist the two adorable dogs before him.

He crouches down on the floor by their beds, reaching for their collars as he reads the names Bruce and Clifford on each of their tags.

That's how Louis finds him five minutes later, sprawled out on the wooden floor with his back to the wall with Clifford's head firmly in Harry's lap and Bruce tucked up against his side.

"I feel betrayed." Louis says as he stops before them but can't quite help the small smile on his lips as he looks at the three of them bundled together on the floor.

            "I'm must just be a more likeable person, try not to take it too personally." Harry teases and Louis only huffs before he turns away and heads back behind the kitchen bench to make himself a new cup of tea.

"I'd love to tell you that they're taking a special liking towards you but honestly I think they'd still do that with a mass murderer so I wouldn't say it's too much of a reflection on your personality I'm afraid Harry." Louis says but the hint of humour in his voice is enough to make Harry smile at the slight bit of familiarity that's filtered back in between them.

            "What are you gonna do with the two of them while we're gone?"

"Eleanor offered to have them but didn't really want people getting the wrong idea so they're heading up to Donny to be with Lottie."

And Harry freezes at the sound of her name. He utterly refuses to let his thoughts stray any further and he forces a smile to his face. One that he's had drilled into him through countless years of media training. A smile that holds no meaning and genuine feeling.

            "The wrong idea?" He asks however without a second more thought and immediately regrets it. Louis freezes in his actions, he'd gone to pour the newly boiled water into his cup but had frozen at Harry's words.

"Yeah... uhh, El and I aren't, we haven't... we haven't been together for a while now. We're still like, friends, but we called it quits a while back now..."

            "Oh." Harry says frowning, the last he'd checked, the public still very much thought that they were together. And so had Harry. Eleanor and Louis had never dated in the years that band had been together, she had in fact been a beard whilst Modest! tried to keep the heterosexual appeal of the band alive and cover up he and Louis' very real relationship. But after Louis had broken up with him, he had learnt that Louis had gotten with Eleanor. There was a very legitimate reason he agreed to the whole Camille thing. "Sorry to hear that." He finishes, trying to sound at least half genuine.

"I think we both know you don't mean that. You never liked Eleanor." Louis says finally, returning to finishing making his tea.

            "And I think we both know it's a bit hard to like the girl who is supposedly dating your boyfriend." Harry counters, and whilst he'd meant it to come across lighthearted he wasn't so sure that's how it came out.

"Fair, you know how much I just love Kendall."

            "You'd have liked Camille even less." Harry murmurs and he wishes he could just keep his bloody mouth shut.

"She's the French one aye?"

            "Yeah." Is Harry's only reply. Because sitting here with his ex-boyfriend talking about the other people they've 'dated' isn't exactly how he'd thought this morning would go. But it is a start, to clearing things up between them.

"You haven't explained how you've gotten back in touch with Zayn though?" Harry tries, desperate now to change the subject.

            "Well you already know that we started patching things up at the start of 2016, things were slow till sometime mid last year when we randomly caught up in New York and it's been good ever since. We talk a lot actually. Even stayed with him and Gigi for a weekend earlier this year. He was my best friend in the band you know, apart from you of course," Harry's heart definitely doesn't flutter, "Felt only right to but it behind us and try to reconnect. I like who he's become since then though, like he can finally be himself."

"I think we've all been able to do that." Harry mutters from his spot on the floor, hand buried in Clifford's fur.

            "Yeah." Louis answers but it lacks any depth behind it. And not for the first time Harry wishes he knew what Louis was actually feeling right now.

"So how long have you been in London for?" He asks instead.

            "Five weeks, been up in Donny for the odd weekend recently though. Tryna spend as much time with the girls ya know?" Louis asks as he moves to sit in the bench chair beside the one Harry had previously occupied. Turning the chair so that he was facing Harry still sat on the floor.

And Harry hated sitting there not knowing whether or not it would be alright for him to ask how they were really holding up. After first losing Jay, now Felicity, he could only imagine just how distraught they each were.

"You could ask for them to tour with us you know? Even just the UK leg." Harry says instead, Louis' eyes snapping to him.

            "Daisy and Phoebe will be back in school, I convinced them to finish the year, and Lottie has her own life. I'm sure they'll come to as many shows as they can, but they've got their own lives."

"I know that, I just also know how hard you find it being away from them for so long." Especially right now. He doesn't have to add, but he knows Louis picks up on the unsaid words.

            "We'll see." Louis says with a small smile, turning to take a sip from his tea.

"I should probably head off now, I have to meet up with Mitch before the meeting this morning and it'll take a bit to get back into the city anyway."

            "Yeah, of course." Louis says standing, the sudden movement starling both dogs as they see the movement of their owner. Both dogs, undoubtedly hoping that they're heading off for a walk, start towards the door. Harry heaving himself up off the floor with help from the wall.

It's an odd moment where Harry remembers the height difference between he and Louis. He'd gotten so used to it over the years they'd been together, but even when he'd walked in the door half an hour ago the thought had escaped him. Now, with Louis waiting expectantly before him, his eyes trained slightly upwards at Harry, it seems to be the thought most on his mind.

            "I'll see you in a few hours anyway." Louis says as he turns in the direct the dogs had now disappeared off and Harry trails behind him.

"Right."

            "It was good to catch up again, I'm sure Niall will force us all together soon enough regardless." Louis muses and Harry genuinely smiles at the thought, positive that's exactly what Niall will do.

"I'm sure he will." Harry replies as Louis pulls open the front door and Harry takes a step outside into the gloomy day.

            "Drive safe." Louis says, flashing him one last smile and Harry only nods, turning and tells himself to walk away from Louis.

He's half way back to his house when he realises that for the first time in four years, he finished a cup of tea.