Where I Am Without You [L.S]

Chapter Twenty Two

He lies in the dark for two hours. Sleep consumes Louis within minutes but Harry just lies there beside him barely moving and barely breathing. It's agonizing being so close yet the emotional barrier between them is still so uncertain and scattered. His thoughts begin to frustrate him an hour in, by the second hour he's almost shaking.

As quietly as he can he shifts himself over to the far side of the bed and stands, making sure to make as little noise as possible. Louis had always been a deep sleeper and it seems that at least hasn't changed as he slips out of Louis' bedroom and wanders downstairs. It must be somewhere past five am now, the first light of day still an hour off yet as he makes for the kitchen and switches on the kettle. He rummages through several cupboards before he finds the cups, noting the lack of food in the house. He supposes they are only here for a week but it still makes him smile at the memory that Louis had always been useless with groceries.

He makes himself a tea, which he knew that at least Louis would have in his home, considered it essential, and heads for the undiscovered living room. It's not all that different from his home in London, although this living room doesn't look out over into a football field, instead an infinity pool lies still in the night outside, several outdoor lounge chairs scattered around the yard and LA stretched out below.

He sits in the dark on the sofa, cradling the tea in his hands as he waits in the unfamiliar room. He thinks about switching on the tv mounted on the wall opposite him but thinks better of it least it wake Louis up, it's not as though he particularly feels like watching anything either.

He'd stupidly left his phone upstairs in his jacket pocket too, otherwise he'd consider calling Gemma. Sarah even in this instance but there's no way he's going back upstairs right now.

He hears Louis long before he actually walks into the room. The sun is now partially risen and he waits patiently whilst Louis moves around the kitchen, hearing the sounds of him making his own morning cup of tea before he finally walks into the lounge.

He looks better than he had the night before, eyes clear but his hair is messy from sleep and he wears light joggers and a jumper hazily thrown on to cover his chest.

"Hi." Louis says as he sits down at the other end of the sofa from Harry.

"Hi."

"I really think we should talk this time." Louis says, his voice clear and steady.

"Yeah, I've kinda been waiting." Harry says gesturing to the blanket wrapped around him and half-drunk cup of tea in his hand.

"I..."

"What did you mean that I didn't call you?" Harry cuts in before Louis can say anything more, the thought had been one of the main things occupying his mind and he wasn't leaving here till he had an explanation.

Louis swallows down a large mouthful of tea, as if giving himself time to formulate an answer. "You called me. One night a few years back, I think you were in Jamaica still. You were quite drunk."

"Obviously." He mutters not remembering the incident at all.

"You were angry, at first. You went on for quite some time. Kept rambling about how I had caused you so much hurt, how you didn't understand when things had gone wrong, why I did what I did." Louis is quiet for a moment, "Then you started crying."

And...oh. Harry definitely doesn't remember this.

"I didn't know what to do, you were drunk and saying all these things and I hadn't heard from you in months."

He sits and waits for him to continue.

Louis looks at him then, and there's an emotion in Louis' eyes that he doesn't want to read too much into. "You said you still loved me, and that I'd hurt you. That you were somewhere we'd always wanted to go and that when everything had gotten too much it's the first place you'd wanted to go because it reminded you of us. Of what we had."