The Hobbit {Male Reader Insert}

Chapter 4: Adventure

[she speaks in Elvish]
Galadriel: [subtitled] If you should ever need my help, I will come.
[Gandalf looks down and sees Galadriel gently taking her hands away, when he looks up he sees that Galadriel is gone and he is alone]
[as the dwarves continue on their journey along a mountain pass a violent thunderstorm begins]
Thorin: Alright, hold on!
[Bilbo slips and the dwarves next to him stop him from falling off the edge]
Thorin: We must find shelter!
Dwalin: Look out!
[they all look up to see a giant rock flying towards them, it hits the edge of the mountain, shattering around them]
Bifur: Hold on!
Balin: This is no thunderstorms! It's a thunder-battle! Look!
[they see a stone giant breaking another stone giant]
Bofur: Well bless me. The legends are true! Giants! Stone giants!
[the stone giants throw giant rocks at each other]

Thorin: Take cover, you fool!
Nori: Hold on!
(Y/n): Craappppp!!!.
[as the stone giants fight each other the mountain breaks around them]
Fili: Ki­li, grab my hand!
[suddenly the mountain they're on comes to life and starts fighting with the other stone giant, the dwarves and (y/n) find themselves separated and trying to reunite as the stone giants fight, break each other, and fight some more]
[after the stone giants stop fighting the dwarves manage to get back together]
Balin: We're alright! We're alive!
Bofur: Where's Bilbo? Where's the hobbit?
[they see Bilbo has fallen off the edge of the mountain, holding on with his hands]
Thorin: Get him!
Bofur: Grab my hand! Bilbo! Come on and take it!
[the dwarves try to help him up and (y/n) jumps down the side of the cliff and helps him up]
Dwalin: I thought we'd lost our burglar.
Thorin: He's been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us.
(Y/n): Thorin he's just a hobbit, He has not seen adventure give him a break!.
[Bilbo looks visibly hurt by this comment]
Thorin: Dwalin!
[Thorin makes his way inside a cave]
[checking the cave inside the mountain]
Dwalin: It looks safe enough.
Thorin: Search to the back, caves in the mountains are seldom unoccupied.
[after checking further into the cave]
Dwalin: There's nothing here.
[the other dwarves enter the cave]
Gloin: Right then, let's get a fire started.
Thorin: No. No fires. Not in this place. Get some sleep, we start at first light.
Balin: We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us. That was the plan.
Thorin: Plans change. Bofur, take the first watch.
[Azog and his orcs hunt for the dwarves on their wargs]
Azog: [subtitled] The scent is fresh! They have taken the mountain pass.
[they continue on their wargs]
[back in the cave, as all the dwarves sleep Bilbo starts packing and as he's about to sneak off Bofur catches him]
Bofur: Where do you think you're going?
Bilbo: Back to Rivendell.
Bofur: No. No. No. You can't turn back, now. You're part of the company. You're one of us.
Bilbo: I'm not though, am I? Thorin said I should never have come, and he was right.
I'm not a Took, I'm a Baggins, I don't know what I was thinking. I should've never run out the door.

Bofur: You're homesick, I understand.
Bilbo: No, you don't! You don't understand, none of you do, you're dwarves! You're used to...to this life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere!
[realizing what he's just said]
Bilbo: I'm sorry. I didn't...
Bofur: No, you're right. We don't belong anywhere.
[(y/n) over here's Bilbo and heads to him]
(Y/n): Bilbo I undertstand how it feels
Missing your home, ever since Moria I haven't even been to my home, I have been with this company for since then they are my family, Thorin is my family and I gladly give my life if it means he will be safe, I truly miss my home and I truly understand you, but you've gotten this far, but if you want to leave *sigh*I respect your choice.
[nearby Thorin overhears all this as he lies in his sleeping place]
Bofur: I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do.
[he pats Bilbo on the shoulder and as Bilbo turns to leave, Bofur notices Bilbo's sword glowing]
Bofur: What's that?
[Bilbo takes his sword out and sees that it's glowing blue, which means orcs are near, at the same time Thorin sees the floor of the cave begin to crack]
Thorin: Wake up. Wake up!
[suddenly the ground cracks, tips and slides everyone off into a cavern, where they are set upon by goblins and taken prisoner, as the dwarves are being hauled away, the goblins pass by Bilbo, not noticing him, he hides and watches the dwarves being taken away and then he follows them quietly with his sword drawn, suddenly a rogue goblin attacks him and as they fight they fall off the bridge and down into the deep cavern]
[the dwarves are taken before the giant goblin king]
Great Goblin: Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?
Goblin: Dwarves and a human,your Malevolence.
Great Goblin: Dwarves and a human?
Goblin: We found them on the front porch.
Great Goblin: Well don't just stand there, search them! Every crack, every crevice!
[the goblins start searching the dwarves]
Great Goblin: What are you doing in these parts? Speak!
[the dwarves remain silent]
Great Goblin: Very well, if they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring up the mangler, bring up the bone breaker! Start with the youngest.
Thorin: Wait!
[Thorin steps forward]
Great Goblin: Well, well, well! Look who it is! Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, king under the mountain and (y/n) son of regvar, son of Ragnar, the king without a kingdom.
[he does a mock bow]
Great Goblin: Oh! But I'm forgetting you don't have mountain, and you're not a king. Which makes you nobody really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for both your heads. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A pale orc astride a white warg.
(Y/n): Azog is dead!.
Thorin: Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago
Great Goblin: So you think his defiling days are done, do you?
[turning to the goblin scribe]
Great Goblin: Send word to the pale orc, tell him I have found his prize.
[Bilbo wakes from his fall and sees the goblin that attacked lying unconscious nearby, he hears something approach, and we see Gollum set upon the goblin]
Gollum: Yesss. Yes! Yes. Gollum. Yes! Gollum! Gollum!
[he starts dragging the unconscious body of the goblin, but the goblin wakens and goes to attack Gollum, Gollum picks up a rock and starts hitting the goblin and in the process a ring drops out of Gollum's loincloth, Gollum finally knocks the goblin out and drags him off]
Gollum: Nasty goblinses are better than old bones, precious. Better than nothing.
[when Gollum disappears with the goblin, Bilbo gets up, picks up his glowing sword then notices the ring on the floor, he picks it up and puts it in his pocket, then he hears Gollum's voice]
Gollum: Aah, too many boneses, precious! Not enough flesh. Shut up! Cut its skin off! Start with its head.
[as Bilbo walks towards Gollum he hears Gollum start to sing]
Gollum: The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet, for rocks and stones are like old bones all bare of meat, cold as death, without no breath it's good to eat.
[Bilbo sees Gollum bash the goblin's head in with a rock as it struggles, then Bilbo sees his sword stop glowing as the goblin dies]