Abused A Zarry Story

Chapter 17

Zayn's Pov:

Harry had kissed me, my mind was spinning, and I didn't even know where I was running to.

Just away from Harry, and to prevent myself from further embarrassing myself.

Poor Harry, I didn't even explain myself at all.

I just couldn't, there was no way, to explain my pathetic existence.

It was just so messed up.

But I couldn't love myself, so how was I supposed to love Harry?

Can someone explain that to me?

I didn't deserve Harry, and Harry didn't deserve a useless broken person like me.

That reality really hit me, and for some reason I started crying.

I wasn't full on sobbing, but the tears were definitely pouring down my face, at a rapid pace.

I looked pathetic walking down the street, headphones in my ears, with the Oliver Twist book in my hands.

At least I had that.

I was so excited to go home and read it, it was like an escape from real life.

From Alan, Harry, and what my life was.

Sadness, and abuse.

No love.

I walked home, and I didn't even care if Alan was home.

There was no point in fighting anymore, I should just be used to it by now.

I take a deep breath, and walk through the living room slowly.

There is nobody home, and I internally cheer.

Then I spot a note on the fridge, written in messy scrawl.

Faggot,

Will be spending the night at Billy's.

Will be back tomorrow.

Don't be a pain in the ass, or there will be hell to pay.

Alan.

I crumpled the note up, and threw it in the trash can.

At least I would have the house to myself tonight.

I was starving, but there was nothing to eat in the house.

Also, I kind of wanted Harry to not accuse me of having an eating disorder anymore.

So I was mainly doing it for Harry, which was messed up, seeing as how I basically just rejected him.

But regardless, it was a Friday night, and I was hungry, and bored, so to find food we go.

It was freezing out, and dumb me never did get a winter coat.

I should really get on that.

So I meandered around, in search of food.

I had stole a twenty, from Alan's wallet, that was sitting out.

I doubt his drunk ass, would even notice.

He was so drunk half of his life anyways.

Or should I say ninety percent of the time.

I wish someone else had adopted me, someone that would actually treat me like a human being, and care about me.

Looked like I would be dreaming about that one for awhile.

Alan would never love me, no matter how much I wanted him to.

I was walking, and almost walked smack dab into the door.