Charmed || Chae Hyungwon

12| I Love You

Chapter 12

"Y/N? Earth to Y/N?"
You snapped out of your daze, instantly shooting your head up to look at it a very confused Professor Kihyun at the front of the class.
"I've been calling your name for the past 5 minutes, Ms. Kang. Answer this question." He pointed to the chalk board with his wand, gently tapping it with the tip of the wand. You gently tapped your cheeks, trying to return both you energy and the color to your pale skin.
"I'm sorry, Professor. The answer is-"
And so your days went on like that.
You spacing out and then being brought back by the guys, but mostly your friends and classmates. Most of them didn't seem to think much of it, just thinking that the tests were finally taking a toll on you. But Wonho and Shownu had somewhat noticed, attempting to try and ask about some things after your classes with them. You made the first excuse you could think of to get yourself out of the situation.
You'd rather not discuss it with them.
Ever since you found out about the black envelopes that Hyungwon had been receiving, you couldn't get even a minute of sleep.
You'd been shaken awake by nightmares. Nightmares of the past, of your parents, of your brother, of yourself, of Hyungwon.
You woke up in a cold sweat almost every night, having to cover your mouth to try and keep the sound of your shallow breathing from getting too loud since everyone was sleeping around you. You just hugged Churro and tried to prevent any tears from streaming down your face. Your entire body both trembling from the cold and from pure fear.
Every time you woke up from a dream it hurt you mentally, but also physically. Your heart rate would speed up an abnormal amount and then drop back down in the span of a minute. It was so painful that you'd have to clutch onto the sheets of your blanket to prevent you from screaming or crying out loud.
It would even continue on into your day, the sudden sharp pain in your chest would be able to stop you at a sentence.
During all this, you just couldn't bring yourself to show your face to Hyungwon. At this point you were almost trying to avoid him.
You hadn't talked since all of this had started.
You could see the sadness in his entire face every time you walked by him without even sparing a glance.
It must hurt him but it was killing you just as much, if not even more.
You never used to wear makeup but you had started using the stuff that Rosé had to hide the dark circles and to make your complexion brighter.
No one had really noticed and you hoped it'd stay that way.
You were walking back home after doing a group study session with Yugyeom and Jungkook. Divination was getting harder and harder by the day but it was easier doing it with some friends. The three of you had become very good friends since you were the only people in the class and you had a bit of fun with them. It was hard to keep your mind on the textbooks but you were trying.
You were trying very hard.
It was late and they'd both offered to take you back to your dorm but it was quite far from theirs so you said that you'd be just fine on your own.
You were always fine on your own. You'd always found a way to manage.
The lights from the castle wasn't too far but it felt like you'd been walking forever. Each step you took ached, making your legs feel like they would give out any second. The trees around you blocked any light that would've shined from the almost fully set sun.
It was dark.
Your vision was getting blurry and the strong wind wasn't helping you keep your balance. Despite it being winter, you'd stupidly forgot to wear a jacket, and now since it was late, it was basically freezing. You tried rubbing your hands together, attempting to create at least a bit of heat but it was too cold and you were too weak.
The lack of sleep was finally getting to you.
You were only able to take one step before your legs gave out on you. You landed roughly on the rocky path, the sharp and frigid rocks poking your legs, making you cry out in pain.
It didn't hurt, but it hurt.
You tried getting up but only managed to make it a couple inches off the ground before landing back on the ground.
You took a deep breath, clasping your hands together and trying to keep yourself from breaking down on the spot. You took another deep breath before slowly but surely getting back up on your feet.
You took two staggering steps before falling forwards onto the rocks.
You instantly clutched onto the arm that a sharp rock had hit, ripping the sleeve of your shirt.
And that was it.
You broke.
You curled up into a ball and just started crying. Your hair covered your face and your entire body shook as you poured out days worth of pent up tears into the sleeve of your ripped shirt. You'd been trying to hold in your tears for the past... you didn't even know how long. Every day went by with no reason and you were just living through it, enduring the pain as each second went by.
The nightmares, the lack of sleep, the headaches, the guilt, the pain.
It was all too much for you to handle. You couldn't take it anymore.
Your breath staggered and you clutched onto your racing heart, wincing as the stabbing feeling overwhelmed you again.
It hurt so much.
It was dark, it was cold, and it was just suffocating. The air seemed to be closing in on you, it became hard to even take a breath. Your sobs became heavier and you could barely keep your head up.
Arms wrapped around you, instantly encompassing you, making your tears stop for a second. You weakly turned around.
You knew exactly who it was.
"Don't cry. I'm here now. It's okay."
Hyungwon pulled you in closer to him and gently lifted you up off the ground. You weakly placed your arms around him, sobbing into his chest, his shirt soaking up all the tears.
He gently stroked your head, whispering comforting words that you couldn't process. You were shaking too much to care about anything. He slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders.
"You're freezing. What were you thinking?" He scolded you gently, hugging you tighter, his warmth completely taking over you. Your tears finally stopped and Hyungwon's grip on you became looser.
You finally got to really look at him for the first time in days.
He looked equally as exhausted as you did.
The dark circles under his eyes were incredibly. prominent. His long hair was flying around in the wind and his small smile looked pained. 
"You look tired." You managed to squeak out, placing your hand on his cheek, making the corners of his lip instantly turn up more.
"You look worse." He softly chuckled, interlocking your hands and placing them into the pocket of his jacket that was draped on you.
"Let's head back now." Hyungwon put his arm on your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and steadying your entire body. You rested your head on his arm and he used his free hand to gently twirl your hair as you both walked back.
You'd missed him.
A lot.