Rather Pretend (Cameron Dallas)

Chapter Thirteen: Explanation

The Weight- Shawn Mendes

Chapter 13

Am I doing the right thing? Giving him a chance to explain? Does he really deserve everything?

Millions of questions are lingering in my mind. I can't wait to ask them to him. I glance at my watch and it's still 8 am. So I have at least 2 hours to get ready.

My most awaited question to be answered is 'Why did you broke up with me?'. That question was always present in my brain, even my heart. I did everything to make him happy. But I guess my good wasn't enough.

I take a bath and do my morning routine. I grab an ombre shorts and a sweater to keep me warm. The weather these days are really cold and sweaters are the best cloth you can wear. For me though.

I left my house in a while and rushed to the Feliver Cafe (A/N that's the only name I could think of. Oops.).

The cold air is making me shiver as I go in the cafe. I scan the place and I see Trevor sitting beside the window. He waves at me and I didn't respond.

"I thought you are not coming." He says and he breathe in a sigh of relief. A waitress goes near us with a paper and pen in her hand.

"Good Morning, Welcome to Feliver Cafe. What will be your orders?" She asks and I look at the menu.

"I'll just have a Cappuccino." I say and she write it down. Trevor also chooses his order.

After 10 minutes, our food arrived. Trevor starts eating and I sit there, sipping slowly on my straw.

"You won't eat anything?" He asks.

"Trevor, the only purpose I'm here is for the explanation. Not for food." My face is blank as I said it. His face starts to fall and a sad expression fills his eyes. I realize he seems pale and sick.

"Sorry. I'll start now." He apologizes and I nod, letting him start. But before he said any word, the day flashes in my mind making everything around me disappear.

"Oh my God! What are you gonna wear?!" Jenny exclaims as she tangle her arms in mine. Trevor just asked me to a Valentine's Date! Of course I said yes. Who wouldn't?

I stare at myself at the mirror, smiling creepily that a guy manages to love me for who I am.

"I have this red strapless dress in my closet." I suggest and Jenny squeals. "Yes!" She rush to my closet and grab the dress violently. Jenny is
always hyper when it comes to dates or clothes.

"Wear it now! I'm gonna do your make-up!" She says excitedly and I oblige. I wear the dress carefully so that it will be smooth.

For the whole afternoon, she did my make-up, my hair, and of course, to make me as pretty as possible as I face the love of my life which I'll spend my forever with. She also left since she has a date with Carter.

Not soon enough, Trevor picked me up. And he sped off to the venue.

*
As I enter the place, it is amazing! Roses are scattered on the floor, yellow lights are reflecting throughout the dark place and a table for two in the middle. I hug Trevor as I see the sight I've been dreading to see since I was a kid. To be treated like this.

Like a princess.

He hugs back and usher me towards the table. I didn't really care with the food though, all I care was the fact that he find time to prepare all this.

"Thank you for everything, Trevor." I grin and he nods. His smile seems sour though, and it was somehow, forced. But I let that through, maybe he was just tired.

"I'll tell you something." I suddenly blurted out. "Sure."

"I-I love you." I stammered. I never told him I loved him. But I didn't receive any answer for how many seconds. It remained silent.

"Amanda, I need to tell you something too." His voice was raspy and dry. Will he confess that he loves me?

"I'm sorry. We need to end this, everything. It's not working." He looks down. Tears starts to fall but I let it in. I shake my head repeatedly and mutter a bunch of 'No's.

"Why? Am I ugly? Am I too clingy, overprotective? Please Trevor, we can work things out." I speak the words too fast. Lightning sounds blast on the sky and it starts to rain.

"Let's go inside Amanda. We're gonna be wet." Trevor suddenly changes the topic.

"No, I don't care! Just tell me why!" I scream so loud that my throat hurts. He blinks repeatedly.

"I just don't love you."

At first he hesitated but then it came out. The words that completely made me disappear in the world. The only thing I can see is his face, saying the sentence continuously.

"I don't believe you, Trevor. Say it and look in my eyes." I dare and he moves forward and oblige.

"I don't love you." He emphasizes every word. I heard the truth. I slowly kneel down the grass as I cry. He bends down too, until our faces are in the same level.

"I'm Sorry Amanda." He kisses my cheek and left. He disappears with the air. That kiss will be my first and my last.

I scream, yell, and shout with the sound of the rain pouring. My clothes are dripping wet from the wetness of the heavy rain. I am sitting alone, crying, on Valentine's Day and my birthday. My tears are mixed by the rain, I close my eyes and calm myself down.

His sorry wasn't enough. It was never enough.

"Go." I calmly say.

"First of all, I loved you Amanda. It was years I was agonizing and regretting everything I did. I never moved on. I always loved you. But something is making it wrong. It's not you nor me. That morning I told you about that date, I was serious. I wasn't planning on saying those things to you. But somebody called, making everything upside down. I don't want to hurt you. Because if I ever told you that day, you will be more hurt. Which I can't handle. I fight with myself all the time, everyday, whether to say the truth or say a lie. And I chose to say a lie, and now I'll tell you the truth of everything. The only reason, separating us together..." He explains. My breathing is unsteady as he said it. My mind is coming up with a reason.

"I have Cancer, Amanda." My heart breaks. Everything made sense now. I hate myself. Why am I assuming things? I should have find ways to confront him, but I didn't. Small teardrops fall on my eyes as he continue.

"And I can't live long."

*
A/N

Short chapter but a tragic one. Tbh, I almost cried in this chapter. (I'm overreacting, don't blame me). The italic font is the flashback, fyi.

I kind of lose a bit of motivation in writing this book but I'll try to make it as good as possible. So sorry for the 'not so detailed' scenes and short chapters.

Vote and Comment. Tysm for the 500+ reads!! You guys are da best

chloe xx