Rather Pretend (Cameron Dallas)

Chapter Fourteen: Reconciliation

I won't give up- Jason Mraz

Chapter 14

"And I can't live long."

Sobs are heard and I realize it is from mine and Trevor's. We're now crying. People start to stare at us but I don't give a shit.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"I don't want to continue our relationship because in the end, you will be hurting. The sooner the better right?"

I breathe slowly as I process everything. My anger towards him is somehow, lessened. But there is still a little part of me who hates him. Literally hate him that I would kill him any second by now.

"How many days?" I know very well he know what I meant. I'm dreading to hear how many days he will be living. Even though he hurt me before, it doesn't mean I don't care about him anymore.

"10 days left. That's not the exact number of days, that's estimated. But there will be a big possibility that I would die earlier that date." He explains. His face is pale and also his lips.

"I won't waste any time now Amanda. I don't wanna die with a lot of big mistakes that happened in my life..."

"Will you forgive me?" That words. The words I've been waiting for since that day he left me. My mind and heart is fighting, showing every strength they have and avoid weakness.

My mind says that I shouldn't forgive him. He made a large hole in my heart and in my life. He changed Amanda.

My heart says that I should forgive him. What's the point of revenge? He's dying anyway. I should just forget and move on with life. I can't stick through with this guy all my life.

I decided to choose the 2nd one. My heart. My heart is the one who loved him and now it should decide. It'll decide whether to forgive and forget or remember the bad things he did to me. I join forces with my confidence and said the words that I've hated to say.

"I forgive you." The words slip through my mouth without permission. He starts to smile and hug me while mumbling a lot of 'thank you's.

Did I do the right thing?

"I can't believe this, thank you so so much Amanda." He says while his eyes are watery. I didn't reply anything but instead I nod.

"I gotta go Trevor. See you." I speak softly.

"Okay. Take care!" He exclaims. I leave the cafe with my heart and mind fighting over some things that happened just now.

I walk down the streets as I process everything. The bad thing is that I can't change the words I said. It all happened and it's too late to change everything.

For the millions of bad things that Trevor gave me, I have the strength to forgive. I never wanted it but my mouth said so. My heart did too. But my mind kept fighting, struggling to forget him and never forgive him. Until I die, until I rot.

One of the reasons why I forgave him is that he's sick. He has a limited supply of life and he can't die without my forgiveness.

And the very last reason which I want off. I want it to disappear, like the way he did back then.

I have to admit that, I still have feelings for him.

Feelings that will never be gone, vanish, disappear, and die.

It'll stay forever. And I'm willing to wait for a hundred years just to get it off.

*
A/N

This is short AF. Sorry I have been busy lately and I've been watching TWD (I know I'm late.). I also don't have any other ideas for this chapter so... Teehee.

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