Oxford Boys

16. Jake's first POV

A/N: Ok, so I think it's about high time, we get a short peak behind Jake's facade. This will only be a very short one, but I am sure we will get to see more of his view in between through out the book. Even if I am not sure how often yet. Still figuring that one out. Please let me know what you think :)

She just slammed her board down and left me behind. I stay in the background watching her. Even if I'd like to crash the pool myself and skate with her, right now it's best to stay where I am. I've never seen her skate so aggressive as she is now. But gosh she's so good and looks fucking hot at the same time.

The sight of her like this is going to haunt my dreams, she has no idea how smoking hot she looks. Every guy is staring at her. Some of the guys here have started to come here every day since last week, as they hope to get a glance of her.

And fucking Evans never leaves her for long. He's my best mate here, but right now I fucking hate him. He gets to spend time with Sam, she talks to him, smiles and even has fucking fun with him. It's been five fucking years and I know I don't deserve her after what I did to her. But fuck I don't want her to have fun with anyone else either.

Am I a jerk because I was relieved the only reason Evans was in her bed, was because she cried? Ok, she cried because of me, that's not what I want. But I felt like jumping his neck yesterday when I heard him saying he was the only one who has been in her bed. For a moment I was going to tell him, I spent a whole fucking night in that bed. Then I realized Sam would never ever speak to me again, if I spill that.

Fuck that night was the best night of my life. I've never felt so satisfied and yet hungry for more than with her. It's like her body was made for me. All the other girls get a one off-thing, if they are lucky I'll stay for half an hour after having it off with them but then I leave without ever looking back. They know what they are into with me anyway. With Sam I couldn't get enough. Nothing compares to the night we had, even if we didn't know who we were.

She's like a fucking magnet for me, always has been. And now I have to watch her from far off, having fun, flirting with others. Those guys in the bar last night gawking at her, I could have killed every single one of them. They have no idea how privileged they were to catch some of her attention. I'd do anything right now, to just get one single one of those smiles she gave them. 

Fuck I'd literally do anything to simply be close to her again.

Instead I am watching her breaking her own records due to anger, putting all the power into her board right now and it's utterly my fault. She is literally killing her board in this moment and that fucking youngster is too distracted by gawking at her, crashing into her again and again.

Fuck she is about to pick a fight on him.

I jump, want to head her way, protect her, but before I can Evans is already between the two of them. It takes her a bit to calm down but she does.

I wish I could talk to her, explain everything. Tell her how sorry I am. The problem is, I will never be able to tell her the full story.

The pictures of what Michael did to her haunt me until today. She has no idea how much. I need to find a way to talk to her, she can't ignore me for forever. And during homework today, at some point things got a little easier.

Even if my heart went crazy being right next to her, fuck it took all my strength not to force a kiss on her. Her body reacted to mine too, I could see and feel it. She might not want to admit to it, but I am going to make her realize.

Fine that's exactly what I am going to do. I need to talk to her first and then make her realize she wants me, just as much as I want her.

This is my girl and I'm not giving up on her now. 

Not this time, not ever again.

Authors Note: As mentioned only a very short one. Does this change your mind a little towards him?