Oxford Boys

25. Stop

I shriek as I see the two on the ground smashing the fists into each other's faces.

"It's just a fucking game", Evans yells.

"You fucking forced her by holding her tight when she didn't want to", Jake seems to be totally losing it right now.

"You Fucker are just jealous because I have kissed her twice and she can hardly bear you near her", he yells while throwing a punch into Jake's face. "You fucking watched her being raped and now expect her to forgive you?"

I hear the round around me gasp, their eyes falling on me. How could he even scream this out loud in front of all the others? I trusted him to keep my secret. Tears start leaking from my eyes as I scream out loud.

"STOP", and I run for the bathroom, drowning out everything else around me.

I am trembling all over my body as I lock the door and slide down against it. I knew the air between Jake and Evans is tense and it's my damn fault. But never ever would I have imagined Evans would scream out my darkest moments of life right in front of all the others. He has no idea how ashamed I feel about it all. Tears are streaming down my face, while anger and hurt fuel me at the same time.

"Sam open the door", I hear Jake call out panicked.

"Leave me Jake, please, just go away", I plead. I can't face him right now.

He is partly to blame for this too. At the moment I don't know if he picked a fight on Evans because he was angry about the force or if it was just jealousy fuelling him. Whatever it was he went way over the top.

"I am not leaving until you open this damn door. I would say I am sorry, but I'm not Sam. He forced you and I am not going to let anyone ever force you again even if it is only a kiss, you hear me? So, I am not sorry for what I did, but I am sorry it got ugly for you. I am sorry for the hurt I caused in the past and everything you've been through because of my mistakes. Evans might hate me for what I did wrong, but I hate myself even more. And what Evans did tonight wasn't right at all."

"Please Jake, I can't", I cry.

"I am not leaving you here to cry on your own, you hear me?"

I know he isn't going to give in. I hear him slide down on the other side of the door. Then I hear Emi's voice.

"Is she in there? I thought she ran out, I searched everywhere outside."

"She is and she's not opening the fucking door", his voice sounds a little raspy.

"Sweetie, please open the door and let me in!" Now Emily is pleading too.

"I can't Emi", I sob.

"You can and you will. You are strong Sam and with all the things that have happened you never backed down. Don't do it now."

"Fuck off", I hear Jake growl. "You've done enough shit for tonight."

Evans is there too. Anger gets the grip of me, I push my trembling body up, pull my dress into order and unlock the door. Jake nearly tumbles over as I tear the door open and storm past him.

My anger now is out of control, I walk straight up to Evans and give him a hard push. He obviously wasn't prepared for that and lands on his backside.

"You", I dig my pointer finger in his chest, as soon as he is back up on his feet. "I trusted you."

"I just kis...."

"Shut the fuck up", I scream at him totally going out of my mind. "This is not about the kiss. It wasn't ok to push me, but I can deal with that. No, you fucking idiot, had to yell out my issues right here in front of everyone. I trusted you when I told you. This was supposed to be a place where no one knows about my past and I can start new and you scream it out for everyone to hear. Now I am going to be the whore again for every fucking single person."