Oxford Boys

27.Jake's POV scared of waking up

I wake up with my arms wrapped around the most beautiful girl in the world. My body still feels exhausted in a good way from our night activities. It must be way into the day, as the sun is shining bright outside my window. Well no surprise after we fucked all night. The last time I looked at the clock it was gone 6am.

Just thinking about last night has me hard again, even if my muscles do ache. If I thought we fucked a lot the last time, it was nothing in comparison to last night. Sam will probably feel sore and her muscles will be aching too. We just couldn't seem to stop. We fucked hard and rough and then again slow making love, we tried positions I have never tried before. Keeping her suspended in the air was definitely one of those and it was amazing. More than that even, it was mind blowing.

Sam's orgasms are beautiful, god the look on her face, the intensity of her body reactions. Her sex clenches so hard around my dick as if her life depends on it. I know I'll never get enough of it. And even if it wasn't for the sex, her kisses are divine, her whole body and soul are divine.

During the night I wanted to tell her how much I love her so many times, but I was afraid how she'd react. And now I am afraid of her waking up. I mean surely during the night she sobered up, but maybe she was just full of adrenaline giving into the lust. What if she wakes up and hates me even more, because I took advantage of her being drunk. For god's sake, I really didn't want to give into her. Maybe I should have tried harder, after all I was nowhere near as drunk as her.

Did I want to gain her back? Absolutely! But not like this. Not while she was hurt, drunk and vulnerable.

Perhaps I shouldn't have carried her in my room in the first place. But when she kissed that guy, I couldn't think straight, I knew she was doing it out of despite. Her smirk told me that, yet it felt like a slap into my face. Besides I didn't want her to do anything she might regret. And now I might have made it even worse for her, than if I let her go with that guy.

As much as I loved the night, love having her here in my arms, smelling her fragrance, just as much guilt and fear washes over me right now.

What if she never wants to see me again after what happened last night?

My nose dips into her hair, I just need to memorize her fragrance. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff right now and she is about to push me down.

I've been so fucking down for so long without her. I only started recovering a tiny bit, when I came here last year and left my parents behind. Fucking around with some random girls chased away the demons of the past for a short while. Hell, I'll even admit to it, I am a fucking man whore, well was until Sam reappeared. No attachments made it easy not to fall so deep ever again while being a jerk. And now I am right on the verge of falling and for the second time it will be my own fault. It scares the shit out of me.

At the moment I just wish for her to sleep as long as possible, to enjoy her here with me before my heart might get shattered. With every inch of my body I try to memorize how she feels in this moment against my body, sleeping peacefully.

She's a beauty and watching her sleep is a pleasure. Which reminds me of Thursday, she mentioned nightmares. It sounded like she has them regular and it scares me, her nightmares might have the same reason as mine, only hers will probably be even worse as she lived through it.

My heart speeds up when I hear her breathing change and feel her body move. Fuck she turns around and her eyes flutter open looking straight into mine. Her beautiful blue eyes, they look like a lagoon colour I've never seen on any other eyes than hers. How could I not realize it was her underneath the mask? I still don't get it. Full of tension I wait for any reaction from her, desperate to know she will forgive me.