Does She Exist?
Such desires die with my unmistakable reality,
I see my dreams vanish by the moment.
As I soon uncover the grand fallacy,
That reveals the source of my inner torment.
Long have I believed the soul's desire,
To uncover the girl from my dream's imaginings.
The search for which I thought I'd never tire,
Had only fuelled my deepest saddenings.
But how did I find such beliefs,
From where did they stem?
How did something beautiful,
Become something I'd condemn?
Once was a time I was filled with hope,
I believed this girl would exist.
A girl whom with my flaws could cope,
A girl I couldn't resist.
The girl unreal that when I met,
I thought I'd still be dreaming.
To say things only I'd ever said,
My traits she'd be teaming.
A girl whom so alike,
I'd swear we'd be a divided soul.
The one who sees me in her light,
Too as the half to her whole.
She'd look upon me, understand,
The hurt I'd felt too.
Together we would take a stand,
And we'd stay through and through.
To hold me affectionately, to let me serve her,
In my own peculiar way.
To show the world, push me further,
To make me seize the day.
To show me beauty in this dark world,
Through my own dark eyes.
To make me perceive, despite the hurt,
The world's true perfect prize.
To not sympathise- but empathise!
To also understand the meaning of hurt.
To see beauty from negative spaces,
How even flowers grow from dirt.
She'd be as rough as I,
In her mind,
She'd had lived her own hard case.
Then when I meet her eye,
It'd be do or die,
As she'd fill my heart with grace.
But woe is me and my plight asunder,
Through the cracks I've fallen under;
This belief my biggest blunder,
As for eternity I'll always wonder-
Wonder if she exists!
I'll never find her.
Why?
Because she's under the fur;
Under the skin,
In my mind,
Is where she's always been.
Behind dark eyes is even brighter hope,
Against the hostile world I'd resist.
Putting aside my method to cope,
I know my other half does not exist.
18/1/15
YOU ARE READING
The Black Book: The Last Romantic
PoezjaAssorted poetry from the Black Book regarding love, heart break, and the seemingly endless search for "the other half". As is customary of my works, a few of them contain dark undertones.
