Meraki [poetry]

6.

And yet again,
I woke up today feeling like giving up,
thinking if this mattered at all,
if it had any value at all,
and it isn't just today,
it's everyday now.
my life feels all monotonous,
I wake up half dead,
I don't smile at the dawn anymore,
going out doesn't matter no more,
I don't bother to look good,
I make no efforts for myself now,
I don't feel like getting out of the bed,
I never did,
but the thing is
I used to be in love with being alive,
now all i think is if my life even makes sense,
I just giggle as a response to that now
because I know it doesn't
just like that we're supposed to continue with life
and that's what I'm doing.