Aligned With The Stars (Montereal Series #3)

[37]

I did what he wanted.

Pinagbigyan ko siya sa gusto niya. I pretended to love him even though I knew that it wasn't true. I just resumed dating him, even though we both know the truth. That I'm in love with Santi and nothing could ever change that.

I didn't ask for Santi at all. I tried to block anything that's related to him. I knew I owed Scott a lot. Ginawa ko nalang 'yun, bilang respeto sa kanya. As my current boyfriend. As someone who I contributed pain to.

I was going to come back to him anyway. Sana lang ay ako pa rin. I hope he didn't find someone else. Ilang beses na niya akong pinakawalan. At ilang beses na sa kanya pa rin ang balik ko. If we weren't meant for each other, then why does my heart keep telling me that he's the one for me? That the pain I felt, would be all worth it if I'm with him?

"Today's the last day..." he muttered with a heavy heart. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to do this."

"It's okay." I smiled a little. It was okay for me, since I had to deal with my own guilt. Dahil sa hiling niya sa akin, naibsan iyon ng konti. I make bad decisions that hurt other people, and I acknowledge that. Sabi nga nila, parang hindi pa rin ako nagbabago mula noon. Maybe that was true, but now I'm working on it. I'm trying to make myself better. Not for anyone, but for myself.

"I did this to somehow change your mind, you know? I thought I could do it. I thought I could change your mind. Yet, I failed. I failed to enter your heart like he did..."

No one else could do it like Santi. I tried though. I tried to love Scott, just like what Santi told me. I thought my feelings for Scott is strong. Only to find out that it was weak, compared to Santi's. He's like a wall that no one could cross over.

"You'll find someone better, Scott. Someone who could love you wholeheartedly. Someone who's willing to be with you... and that's not me."

He smiled painfully before he kissed the back of my hand. Nitong mga nakaraang araw unti-unti na rin na gumaan ang pakiramdam ko pagdating dito.

"I love you. I hope you'll be happy with him. I wish the both of you the best... just don't invite to me you wedding, hm? 'Cause that will hurt a lot..." he tried to say that in a joking way so I laughed a little.

"Alright, if that's what you want..." sabi ko at hinalikan ang pisngi niya ng matagal. That's a friendly kiss now. Masaya ako na naayos namin 'to. At least, he can find someone better now.

"I'm breaking up with you." ani ko at bumitaw na sa kamay niya. "Chastace Scott, I'm breaking up with you."

He slowly nodded.

"Thanks for everything. For the chance, for loving me even if it's just a short time. I'll always love you, Daphne. Go find your happiness now..." he stood up and dropped a long kiss on my forehead before walking away from me to leave. Lumingon pa siya saglit at ngumiti sa akin. I smiled back and waved goodbye to him, before he went ahead to leave.

I watched as he left without a word after that. It was painful, yes. Pero iyon ang tamang gawin. Loving someone who's still in love with someone else, is never okay for anybody. That's torture. And it's something that I don't want to happen to Scott. He matters to me.

Hindi ko naman na alam ang gagawin ko pagkatapos non. First, I had to be ready with myself. I want to make sure that I'm emotionally and mentally stable. I didn't wanna indulge in another relationship, when I'm not okay with myself. Gusto ko, pag naging kami ulit, ayos na ako. I have no room for mistakes now. I want it all clean.

Santi is not leaving anywhere, anyway. He's just there. I just hope he's waiting for me, still. He's a chick magnet, but damn I know he's loyal. Si Ate Tria nga, ilang taon niyang minahal, paano pa kaya ako na mahal na mahal niya ngayon diba?