Keep You Close - HO

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After finishing an amazing dinner with lots of conversation, we find ourselves in front of the fire place with a cup of tea. I hate to admit how nice it is to be back, but it won't last long. It can't.
"You haven't used your phone." I comment, taking a sip of my tea.
"Yeah it's in my home office." He says. "Unless I'm texting a friend, I leave it in there so I don't find myself doing work when I'm home."
This is a whole new Harrison that I haven't known. I don't know what I expected with moving in here and getting to know him all over again, but it wasn't this.
"Wow.. you actually made some changes Huh?" I mutter.
"Well when you left me I practically fell apart, I used work to distract myself so I was obsessive for a while.. then I realized that was the behavior that made me loose you so.. I uh- I went to therapy." He says the last part a little more quietly, like he's ashamed of it. "I worked through our breakup, I found a work-life balance, and I'm all patched up now."
"Haz.. that's absolutely amazing. I'm proud of you." I say honestly.
"Everyone thinks I have the perfect life now. Good job that I love, lots of money, a nice place but.. honestly all I can think about is how much I miss you.. and what we had." He explains.
I sigh, setting my cup of tea down.
"Haz, it's too late now. Maybe if these changes had come sooner-"
"That's the thing though Kylie." He interrupts me. "You never gave me the chance! You didn't tell me that something was wrong until you decided to leave me!"
He's right.. I always pretended not to care, acted like everything was okay when it wasn't. I cried alone and made sure the tears were gone before he got home. I did a great job at making him think I was happy in the relationship when I wasn't.
"You're right. You're not the only one to blame, it's on me too. That doesn't mean that us getting back together is a good idea though." I shake my head.
"I think you're lying." He says and my mouth drops.
"Excuse me?" I laugh lightly.
"I'm just saying.. I think that you do want to get back together with me." He shrugs. "I think you're scared of how much you actually do still like me."
I roll my eyes at his cockiness. Of course he thinks I'm still in love with him, he thinks every girl is in love with him. Which is partly true, just not the part about me.
"I'll always have a spot in my heart for you but we're never gonna happen again Haz. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can move on." I say.
"No thanks." He says and I raise my brow.
"No thanks?" I question.
He grins, and stands to his feet.
"Hold on, I have something for you." He says.
"Haz you really need to stop buying me things." I call as he leaves the room.
"Luckily it's not something I bought!" He calls back.
He walks back into the room, holding a jar with a bunch of papers in it. He sits down next to me again, and empties all the ripped pieces of paper onto the ground.
"What is this?" I ask.
"All the phone numbers girls have given me since it came out that I was single." He says.
This many?! How is literally every single girl on this planet into Haz?!
"And you're showing me this because?.." I trail off.
"Because I could have moved on, I had every chance to move on. I just don't want to, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to either so just stop trying to push me away and let whatever happens, happen."
_____________
I lay in the bed, tossing and turning for what feels like hours. I'm so use to my own place that it feels weird to be here, or maybe it's because my thoughts are running a mile a minuet. Either way I feel like there's no way I'm getting to sleep.
This is crazy. Why am I even here. The fact that I literally am sleeping in my ex boyfriends house because he offered to promote my book is starting to set in, and I'm actually shocked with myself. Not to mention this is the worst time for this to set in because I really need sleep. I have work in the morning.
I get up and out of my bed, walking down the hallway to the kitchen so I can make a cup of tea. Maybe that will help. As I walk into the kitchen, I flick on the light and put some water on. The nice thing about Haz living in a literal mansion and his room being upstairs is that, I don't have to worry about being quiet. He definitely can't hear me up there. I scroll through Instagram as my water heats up, which probably isn't the best idea when I'm trying to wind down but, oh well. At this point I'll just have to drink a lot of caffeine to get through the day anyways.
My water finishes, and I open the cupboard to find a mug. I stop in my place, a smile growing on my face when I see it- my favorite mug with a chip in the side of it. Haz hated this mug, he never understood why I kept a chipped mug when he could replace it so easily. It's weird to think he kept it all this time..
I pull the mug out, and make my tea. It feels comforting to be here in a way, but I find myself missing the old us more and more, and that's dangerous.
"What are you doing up?"
I jump, a small squeak leaving my mouth which makes him laugh.
"God you scared me!" I groan.
"Sorry Angel." He smiles, walking behind me to make his own cup of tea, his hand gliding across my back as he moves.
"Did I wake you up?" I ask.
"Couldn't sleep. You?" He asks.
"Same." I say.
He looks at the mug that's in my hands, smiling.
"I hate that fucking thing. Doesn't match the kitchen at all." He shakes his head.
"Then why'd you keep it?" I prompt.
"I kept everything that reminded me of you."
He makes his tea and we both move into the living room to sit on the sofa. I pull my knees up, turning my body to face him. His arm rests across the back of the couch and his hand plays with my hair as I rest my head back. I feel butterflies in my stomach, but ignore it in hopes that it will go away.
"You're beautiful." He says to me, light in his eyes.
"Haz you can't say things like that to me.." I mumble
"Why? Because it makes you feel things? That's the point." He states.
"I never said it makes me feel anything."
"Mhmm." He hums, his fingers lightly stroking down the side of my face. I've been touch starved for months, and just the feeling of his fingertips on my skin is making me feel warm inside.
"I know how you are, Kylie." He moves his hand down, grabbing mine. "I know you."
As much as I know I should move my hand away and go to bed, I'm far too tired, lonely, and just overall missing the feeling of someone caring about me. So I let him interlock our fingers, his thumb running over my skin.
"You love romance. You want to be fought for.. and prioritized... and loved." He mutters quietly.
I feel an intense urge to just lean in and kiss him. I just want to feel his lips once more.. I want to experience him one more time because, I didn't know our last time was our last.
"I should go to bed.." I say, letting his hand go.
I stand from the sofa, and walk past Haz to go down the hallway.
"Goodnight Angel."
I stop in my place, a small smile settling on my lips.
"Goodnight Hazzy." I say, using the nickname that hasn't left my mouth in a very, very long time.

A/N: I miss updating every day but college is kicking my ass.