The Half-Blood Project

19- Depth Of Madness

Annabeth Chase

I slept in the bed of our hotel room without any voices, without any nightmares, without any disturbance that would distance me from sleep. It scared me. 

But that sudden drowsy feeling of wanting to stay here forever seemed to take over, fill my senses with an urge of never wanting to leave, never wanting to roll from the thick, warm comforters or have the absence of the aroma's wafting in from the kitchen. 

"Just rest both of you." I watched Percy and Grover set their backs down, looking a lot less weary than they did when we walked in here. Was it the cookies that the hotel staff gave us? Making them excited? I suspected so. Percy and sugar seemed like a bad mix if you asked me. 

"No, we're going to play some video games," Percy said, tugging on a pair of worn sneakers and throwing on a jacket from his bag. He looked much too excited to go and play on arcade machines, ride rollercoasters and play in the splash park we passed on our way to the elevators. In all my time being in Vegas before, I had never seen this hotel. 

The Lotus Hotel. 

Something didn't sit right. I let it slide. We we're always on edge. Why not have a night of fun and let loose for a change? 

I rolled into the covers and let the warm darkness take over for the night, let my soul rest, even if just for a night. 

It felt strange not to wake in a cold sweat to the nightmares or waking and not being able to fall back asleep, too much on my mind. Strange not to stare at the ceiling or close my eyes and watch the faces that I hate so much flash by, their grins plastered in my memory forever. I sometimes hated being smart, smart to remember so much. Remember the pain those people put me through, made me hate myself, made me want to throw myself off a cliff to keep the pain from killing me and keep going on inside. 

Enjoying sleep was one of the many luxuries I can't and won't possibly ever be able to afford. 

And when I wake, the voices return. Voices of doubt, anger, and hatred. Self-criticism. 

You should have stayed asleep. Forever 

Why do you even try to be a good person? No use, you already destroyed so many lives. You let Luke go, let him go to the dark side. You let Thalia go, wherever she may be, probably hating you for letting her go. She hates you. They all hate you

Everyone hates you Annabeth. 

Sighing I stand, hoping the voices will fade to distinct background noise. But they never will, will they? 

The view from the hotel is so breathtaking, you can see all of the gorgeous hotels scraping against the clouds, touching the sky, and their lights dimming as the sun spills into the everlasting blue sky, spreading on for infinity. I breathe in the mix of smoke and coffee scents of the morning air, pleased at how we got into the place. I don't think I want to leave. 

Percy and Grover stumble into the room, laughing and laughing, I've never see Percy laugh like that, carefree, gentle, happy, secure. Not the boy who trains teenagers to fight monsters for a living. 

I don't think I want him to go back to the brooding leader who never backs down and always faces the shadows. 

Or maybe I want to see a mix of both of that. Happy and dark in the same room, not charging over each other, but embracing each other. 

"You guys have fun?" 

"Yeah! We went on all of the water slides and Percy made me go ZOOM!" Grover snickered, then was laughing so hard he tumbled onto the bed, shaking in fits of laughter.