Forever Darling H.S.

7 ~ Carter ?

Song set fire to the rain - Adele
Present day
Harry's POV
I watch her run through the woods as if someone is chasing her , as if she's running for her life , as if there's a monster after her .
I am a monster I just hurt the person I love more than anything in the world . I want to chase after her , I want to make sure she's okay . I close my eyes and focus trying to track her I see her still running she's almost to the cemetery . I have no knowledge of what happened , I didn't do it on purpose I didn't even know I have the strength to make a tree ride from the ground . The tree is the last thing I care about right now all I care about is her . She'll never forgive me , she shouldn't forgive me . I understand if she hates me but I rather die than love without her love .

Whenever I'm not around her I feel a pain in all aspects of my body . I've never been one for sharing , as a boy things were taken from me , people were taken from me , I didn't plan on simply Carter with me at all times as if her only use is to be with me , I would if I could but I know she wouldn't allow it . I had never planned on meeting someone or falling in love personally I found it stupid no I'm not one of those vampires who never believes in love another bullshit thing Robert Patterson has made America think . I just never thought I'd find it , it wasn't my mission i had many other plans for my life .

It kills me to not be with her right now . I miss our usual fights . She gets mad at me for killing someone , I say I'm sorry she ignores me I go in the room tell her I'm an ass and hug her she doesn't hug me back but I know she enjoys it then great makeup-
But this isn't just a fight not only did I overreact and destroy something so special to us but I hurt her in so many ways . I don't deserve her I'm well aware of that and there's still so much she doesn't know .

A part of me is questioning if I should go after her , ever fiber in my bones wants to but is that what's best for her ? How do I expect her to forgive me when I still am a horrible person I'd like to say she makes me want to be a better person but ... Carter makes me , I Don't Know I feel comfortable with Carter , safe , content . I never want the feeling of her to leave , but I don't want to change . I don't want anything to change especially not her .

When I first saw Carter I was stunned not because of her beauty . Although she was pleasing , Carter isn't like anyone , no one would compare to her . But what made her catch my eye was the fact that I could see right through her I could so easily hear and feel her emotions. She was so ... fearless but intelligent.

Walking down a street she would look at everyone in her front view , she didn't waist time looking to the sides because she thought to herself looking away from her path would make her an easy target to be coughs off guard.
Her thoughts were so bold she profiled pretty much everyone she came in contact with . When I approached her I was so excited to read her thoughts, I was so nice I wanted to know everything she was thinking I got so mesmerized into her thoughts I found it hard to respond to her .

I can't contain myself anymore I run towards the woods knowing where she's at . I see her in the distance as I slow down , I know she knows I'm here . The way she looks at her dad grave , I know she's talking to him in her mind . What I'd give to be able to hear those thoughts now .

I feel so disconnected from Carter I have for awhile now . sometimes I wish she was more open i question our love sometimes but push the thoughts out of my mind before I send myself into a never ending cycle of thoughts, unwanted thoughts .

" Carter " I say slowly approaching the person I want to do nothing but hug right now . " I want to go home " she says not taking her gaze off of her father . Does she mean home as in our home ? Is it still ours ? Does she mean her childhood home ? " umm okay Carter can we talk baby please ? " she still won't look at me god why won't she look at me ? Why isn't she yelling !
" No let's just go home Harry ." She sounds so emotionally unavailable nor that she ever normally is . In this moment I have no idea what to do I just want to make sure she's okay but I don't know if she is I can't read her and I don't understand why she's not yelling . "Okay " she gets up , still not looking in my direction and she starts walking. I follow her like a lost puppy I don't know what to do or what's going on I feel .. I don't even know how to explain it .

After walking for what felt like forever we walk into our apartment . I decide not to say anything and just wait to se what she does , she turns her head to me gaining my full attention " let's go to bed I'm tired " maybe in the morning she'll kill me , I've taught her how I mean if she really wanted to she could I'd let her .

Once we're in bed she wraps her arms around me I pull her in feeling her head on my neck this is was I wanted , I wanted things to be like normal. But they're not , they don't feel normal. This doesn't feel like Carter .

Until next time my Darlings 🖤🎈